Tending to Truth

Advent

2011-11-27T12:12:00.008-05:00

"At a certain point in life, the profound desires and cravings of our heart reach a point of eruption in us. Yet, at the same time comes the awareness that we cannot bring about what we want - we do not have inside us what is needed to fulfill and satisfy our longing. And so, with our infinite yearnings we turn to the Infinite and cry, 'Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down.' Our experience of helplessness before the fact of our boundless human need moves us to ask for fellowship with God's Son, Jesus Christ the Lord. The nature of our desire assures us as we enter into Advent that we are not lacking in any spiritual gift as we wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ. 'The Lord of the house is coming.' 'Be watchful! Be alert!"

Passionate Love

2010-12-21T22:11:00.001-05:00

Passion is something we are all familiar with. Our culture projects passion in many ways: sex, sports, money... We are supposed to give 100% to our job, our spouse, our family, our community. We are supposed to be passionate about everything we do in our lives. It's always conveyed as the way things are supposed to be.

This is one of those rare instances where you will hear me say that our culture is actually getting it right, although it has misplaced the focus.

The first reading at Mass today is from either the Song of Songs or the prophet Zephaniah, depending on your parish. Both readings demonstrate my point. The first describes the passion of two lovers for each other, which alludes to the message, while the second reading gets right to the point. Here they are:

Sg 2:8-14

Hark! my lover–here he comes
springing across the mountains,
leaping across the hills.
My lover is like a gazelle
or a young stag.
Here he stands behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
peering through the lattices.
My lover speaks; he says to me,
“Arise, my beloved, my dove, my beautiful one,
and come!
“For see, the winter is past,
the rains are over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth,
the time of pruning the vines has come,
and the song of the dove is heard in our land.
The fig tree puts forth its figs,
and the vines, in bloom, give forth fragrance.
Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one,
and come!

“O my dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the secret recesses of the cliff,
Let me see you,
let me hear your voice,
For your voice is sweet,
and you are lovely.”

or

Zep 3:14-18a

Shout for joy, O daughter Zion!
Sing joyfully, O Israel!
Be glad and exult with all your heart,
O daughter Jerusalem!
The LORD has removed the judgment against you,
he has turned away your enemies;
The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst,
you have no further misfortune to fear.
On that day, it shall be said to Jerusalem:
Fear not, O Zion, be not discouraged!
The LORD, your God, is in your midst,
a mighty savior;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
and renew you in his love,
He will sing joyfully because of you,
as one sings at festivals.

The key verse for me when I was reading these today was Zephaniah 3:17, right at the end there. Here we are, preparing for the birth of His son in four short days, and God is saying how he will rejoice over us! God sacrifices himself to become one of his created beings in order to save us from our own stupid, selfish, arrogant, hateful choices, and yet He still says that, even in this, he rejoices over us, sings over us, loves us.

That is passion. That is what we were created for and what we are called to live for.

Do you misplace your passion? Have you lost it altogether? Read those verses again, understand how much passion God has for you, and cry for joy with me.

Feminine Spirituality

2010-10-06T21:31:00.002-04:00

For all the time I've spent over the last year or two delving into the differences between men and women, you'd think this topic would have crossed my mind. Eh, not so much, I'm afraid. Until now that is.

Because we are beings consisting of both a body and a soul which cannot and never will be separated, our gender is bound up with our spirituality. It inevitably affects how we relate to our Creator.

In her book Full of Grace, Johnnette Benkovic states (speaking of body and soul unity) "... our gender reveals and defines the innermost aspect of who we are... [this] spiritual reality of our femininity speaks to the very influence in the world that God intends for woman."

Not only will our roles in society and marriage differ, but our role in the Church as well. Women in particular are called to bring life, both physical and spiritual. Women encourage, support, edify, and nurture those around them. We are meant to pour our lives into our loved ones, never exhausting our supply of life-giving love, as we continually receive more love and nourishment from our Lord.

I am finding that more emphasis today seems to be given to the physical giving of life and less to the spiritual giving of life. While bringing women back to the truth of their great gift and privilege of bearing human souls and bringing an end to the horrific tragedy of the abortive and contraceptive mindset is very important, attention must also be given to the truth of our mission as spiritual life-givers as well. Both are crucial and deserve a place in our studies and spiritual growth.

"The deepest longing of woman's heart is to give herself lovingly, to belong to another, and to possess this other being completely... Only God can welcome a person's total surrender in such a way that one does not lose one's soul in the process but wins it. And only God can bestow Himself upon a person so that He fulfills this being completely and loses nothing of Himself in so doing. That is why total surrender... [is] the only adequate fulfillment possible for woman's yearning." - Edith Stein

When this longing is fulfilled by Jesus, we are filled with such life that we cannot help but pour it into others. Our God-given desires for pure, authentic, complete love are not meant to fulfill us, but to be used to bring life to our broken world.

Seasons Change

2010-09-12T23:52:00.001-04:00

Autumn has begun to unfold yet again. This is by far my favorite time of year; school is starting up again, the leaves are just beginning to turn, and I can leave the windows open all day long to enjoy the breeze. This time of year is also when I always begin thinking about life in general. I guess it's because I can really feel the change in the seasons, and that brings to mind a shift in my life.

Last year at this time I was just ending a glorious summer at home, my first not working since I was 15, and I was able to soak in so much of life and love and God that I really had never been happier.

This year is a little different. Well, in some ways it's a lot different. This summer was difficult and I experienced some pretty powerful negative forces unlike any I ever had before. My health (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual) has really taken a beating sotospeak. I feel better in some ways, but I still feel like I'm in some form of limbo, not quite "there" yet if you know what I mean. That's why I haven't really posted all summer: I haven't been in a good enough place to offer what I would consider quality content.

I love writing and I've really missed digging through issues and speaking on them and getting feedback from my readers. I'm working my way back into it now. I have to soak up some more sustenance before I can give it. There have been many recent events I could speak on, political and religious. But I think I will leave those to the bloggers who have already spoken so well on them. The next direction I will be heading in will most likely be related to spirituality, particularly as it relates to women. I have so much I need to learn, and I hope y'all will make the journey with me. :-)

Until next time, pax vobiscum!

Criticism

2010-08-23T09:12:00.000-04:00

"In making the counter-cultural choice of being homemakers, we subject ourselves to criticism and sometimes there's no choice but to smile graciously and move on. At times it's possible to have an intelligent conversation about why you choose to live the way you do, but sometimes people are so negative it's better to just let it go and resign yourself to the fact that you can't please everyone. Let your statement be a quiet one, of a simple, modest, humble, content life for your family. Again, the most important, vital thing is that you and your husband are on the same page regarding this. As long as you are strong in your convictions and have your husband's support, other people can wrinkle their noses at it all they want."

~Anna, @Domestic Felicity~

The Reason

2010-08-13T20:30:00.000-04:00

(as sung by Celine Dion)

I figured it out
I was high and low and everything in between
I was wicked and wild,
baby, you know what I mean
Till there was you, yeah, you

Something went wrong
I made a deal with the devil for an empty I.O.U.
Been to hell and back, but an angel was looking through
It was you, yeah, you
It's all because of you

You are the reason
You are the reason I wake up every day
And sleep through the night
You are the reason, the reason

In the middle of the night
I'm going down 'cause I adore you
I want to floor you

I'm giving it up
No more running around spinning my wheel
You came out of my dream and made it real
I know what I feel
It's you
It's all because of you

You are the reason
You are the reason I wake up every day
And sleep through the night
You are the reason, the reason

In the middle of the night
I'm going down 'cause I want you
I want to touch you
I want to floor you
You are the reason, baby

You are the reason
You are the reason I wake up every day
And sleep through the night
You are the reason, the reason

The Least of These

2010-08-02T14:09:00.000-04:00

It is amazing to me how conversion of the heart happens. All it takes is the smallest of sparks, the fewest of words, a simple sound.

The least of things becomes the greatest tool in the hands of God. Today I am thankful for them.

Sweetness

2010-07-29T19:34:00.001-04:00

“Sweeter even than to have had the joy of caring for children of my own has it been to me to help bring about a better state of things for mothers generally, so their unborn little ones could not be willed away from them.”

~Susan B. Anthony~

Link: 7 Reasons Why I Joined a Latin Mass Parish

2010-07-21T18:11:00.002-04:00

A million times, YES! Sorry, little bit happy, lol, just had to share this.

Only Silence Remains

2010-07-20T19:47:00.003-04:00

crackling spindles course through a glassy soul

flames kindled by harsh arrows of fire

burn

through flesh... red, tender from pains of ages past

r a c i n g...

p o u n d i n g...

bursting

dripping shards and strands of sinew entangled

only silence remains

How About Some Music!

2010-07-14T10:13:00.003-04:00

I have to admit, this is going to sound like an advert, and it's not usually the type of thing I post about, but oh well.

Have you ever heard of Apologetix? They're a local (i.e., Pittsburgh) band that's been around since the early 90s and have a national fanbase. I discovered their music about 5 years ago and have been hooked ever since.

So, what's their angle you ask? They're a Christian parody band. No, they don't make fun of Christians. They take secular songs (including ones with decidely impure or unpalatable lyrics) and rewrite them into apologetic material. If you're feeling down they'll make you laugh for sure. And most of it is real quality, meaning not just cheese. The only minor concern when I listen to them is that there are moments of Evangelical theology that I obviously don't agree with. But that's easy to ignore, for me at least.

Some of my personal favorites include:

The Real Sin Savior (The Real Slim Shady, Eminem)
Narrow Way to Heaven (Stairway to Heaven, Led Zepplin)
YHWH (YMCA, The Village People) and
Devil Went Down to Jordan (who doesn't know that one? lol)

They cover the charts, from the Beach Boys to Steve Miller to Eminem and Kanye West. If you have some time, watch some videos in youtube and see how you like them. They've added a new perspective to my spiritual life, and I like it. :-)

Works or Faith?

2010-07-09T13:28:00.003-04:00

I just had to share this blog post.

In James 2:24, St. James clearly says, “Man is justified by works and not by faith alone" (the only time the phrase "faith alone" appears in the Bible). Yet Protestants will typically turn to St. Paul's discussion of justification in Romans, specifically Romans 3:28, where St. Paul says precisely the opposite of St. James: "We hold that man is justified by faith apart from works of law." What is the solution here?

Read the full post and answer here

Storms

2010-07-07T21:16:00.005-04:00

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I love storms. My favorite thing about summer is watching the rain fall down and listening to the sound of the thunder.

Ironic that in the metaphoric storms of my life I've not been doing so well lately. If I get thrown off, even a little bit, it seems I have a difficult time keeping my balance. And getting back up into the saddle is causing some problems, too.

It always seems, for me at least, that during the storms, during those times when I need God by my side the most, I drift away, caught up with the rain. I still feel stuck... distant, even from myself, if that makes any sense.

I heard this song today, for the hundredth time. But, especially today, it reminds me of the truth. And I can see where I want to be again. It's a start.

Freedom

2010-07-04T09:02:00.004-04:00

My first thoughts on this Independence Day morning may seem odd to some. I’m not thinking of fireworks, barbecues, founding documents, or war. For some reason I’m pondering the “new” definition of freedom in America.

Christians often bemoan the fact that we no longer live in a God-fearing nation. This is not a new concept, but today has brought a small, thin stream of light to shine on it for me: we have lost the pursuit of the ideal.

I am one of those people who has at times been guilty of idealizing the past, on a number of levels. “If only we could go back to those days, things would be better.” Better socially, politically, religiously, morally. The people of this country used to hold up the ideal and strive for it everyday. Even knowing that they could not attain it, they still strove, because they knew that while they might never attain perfection in this life, it was waiting for them in the next, and they knew they should be preparing for it:

“Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” Philippians 3:12

“I press on towards the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14

This is what we have lost. Today, most people no longer see the point in attempting to obtain the “unobtainable”. The focus has become on what is “realistic”, the best that can be expected, only doing what I can do. If perfection is unobtainable, why even bother? I’m free to decide what morality means to me! Freedom gives me the right to do exactly as I please, or to not do what I don’t! This is the new definition of freedom.

Sadly, I partially blame Christianity, particularly theology that preaches “once saved, always saved”, say a prayer once and you’ll go to heaven. This gives rise to wanton licentiousness. Not to mention it completely contradicts Jesus’ words that narrow is the gate and few are those who enter through it! This is, I am sad to say, an enormous contributing factor to the trending of the “new” freedom.

We have forgotten the words of St. Peter, that great mystery that many today do not understand, and even less fail to live: “As servants of God, live as free people, yet do not use your freedom as a pretext for evil.”

We are free, yet we remain servants. This is the true definition of freedom. It has been lost to many, but we must keep it alive in our hearts and bear witness to its truth in our own lives. That is how we will turn the country around: one faithful life at a time. True freedom is worth striving for. I hope and pray that many on this day still believe that as I do.

Today's Mass' Responsorial Psalm

2010-06-23T07:40:00.003-04:00

This reading resonated with me today, so I thought I would share. :-)

Ps 119:33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 40

R. (33a) Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Instruct me, O LORD, in the way of your statutes,
that I may exactly observe them.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Give me discernment, that I may observe your law
and keep it with all my heart.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Lead me in the path of your commands,
for in it I delight.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Incline my heart to your decrees
and not to gain.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Turn away my eyes from seeing what is vain:
by your way give me life.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Behold, I long for your precepts;
in your justice give me life.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Time

2010-06-16T20:26:00.004-04:00

Two weeks ago I celebrated my 27th birthday. This photo (it's a scan, hence the poor quality... sorry!) was taken 10 years ago, around the time I first met my husband. Seriously? Has it really been ten years? It feels like forever, and yet as though it was just yesterday that I was anticipating adulthood.

I was lamenting my age to my husband this morning, then I started thinking about how incredible it is that so much time has passed and yet how I can't imagine my life having been any different than it is now. Ten years of trials, temptations, joy, fears, anger, frustration, happiness. How do you measure a life? When I'm 90 (God-willing), will my entire life seem to have been a blur?

At 17 I never would have imagined the twists and turns life would take for me. I was always ready to dive in head first, to move ahead. When I was ten years old I can remember people telling me how grown up I was, and I was in many ways. I wanted time to move quickly, to get to the next stage. I enjoyed the present well enough, but the future was always just a little more desirable for one reason or another. I was always looking for the next thing.

I still do that. I've grown into being able to live in the present, but my natural tendencies betray my maturation at times, until a moment like today when I stop and really think about where I am and where I've been. I'm also closing in on my 8th wedding anniversary at the end of this year, and looking back at our life together gives me pause. There are many things that I regret, words and actions I wish I could blot out. There are also many things I am grateful for and think warmly of. I've made a ton of mistakes, but I've also made many right choices. I've felt crushed under the weight of my sins, but I've also felt joyous at the knowledge of the gift of grace I've been given.

I am very different today than I was then. I am wiser, stronger, more loving than I was ten years ago. I am a wife and a Christian. In another ten years, where will I be? How will I look back at this coming decade? Will I create the life I looked forward to all those years ago?

Today is tomorrow's yesterday, and today is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. Twenty-seven is a good place to be.

Another Quote I Love

2010-05-27T23:02:00.001-04:00

"Success is a relative concept... it might be necessary... to sacrifice some measure of financial success and career advancement in order to succeed as parents, spouses, neighbors, and responsible citizens."

- Brian Robertson, "Forced Labor"

Suffering

2010-05-20T19:33:00.001-04:00

I must admit that I haven't experienced a great deal of suffering in my life. Granted, I've had my share of trials and tribulations, but not suffering in the truest sense. Over the last week or so I've become very frustrated at a physical difficulty I am suffering from which seems to have no cause and which is stubbornly remaining when it should have already gone. This is new to me, experiencing a physical limitation. I hate it. But, I am now coming to peace with it in a sense, accepting that no matter how frustrated I am, I really can't control it; it is out of my hands. So I have made the decision to (from now until it has passed) offer it up to God as a penance for my sins, and I am keeping in the forefront of my mind the sufferings which Christ endured for my sake. My pain and discomfort is nothing compared to what He went through, and this pain is nothing compared to the joy of heaven.

Lord, I offer you my pain and sorrow in reparation for my numberless offenses and negligences. Help me to endure with grace and charity, and allow my suffering to bear fruit in my life to your glory. Amen.

Addiction

2010-05-19T17:13:00.003-04:00

Over the last week or so, I’ve been reading a book called “Addiction & Grace” by psychiatrist Dr. Gerald G. May. In it, he discusses how our bodies become addicted to anything we become attached to. Drugs and alcohol are certainly included in this, but he also goes further by pointing out that anything we build up an attachment to (behaviors, thought patterns, work, success, relationships) has the potential to become a true addiction (an actual, physical addiction), and then he discusses how grace is the only thing that can rid us of all our attachments.

It’s a very interesting book, and I would recommend it for anyone interested in the topic. I’ve found it very thought-provoking (particularly the discussion of attachment on the cellular level), and it has made me reflect on things in my life that I have become attached to, things I feel that I have to have (even if only subconsciously). I’m thoroughly addicted to orderliness, sugar and being in control (among many other things). All of these attachments detract from my relationship with God in one way or another. I don’t want to pray until my “routines” are done; if I haven’t had something sweet in a while I get cranky and behave ridiculously; and I often desire to take charge of my life in areas that I should let God have the reins in.

All of these “addictions” enslave me. I don’t think I ever thought of sins of that nature in the sense of addiction before, but there it is, truth spoken. It puts a different spin on what the general public would term as addiction also, at least in my eyes. What I mean is, I think I can view substance addiction as a more visible example of what we all suffer from invisibly (for the most part), where as before I would have deemed substance abuse as a problem that "other" people had, not me. I don’t know if I’m explaining it well or not, but I am glad to have learned about it. Now I have yet another perspective from which to approach the pursuit of holiness and from which to receive grace and to pass it on to others.

Liturgical Orthodoxy

2010-05-18T15:22:00.002-04:00

"As children of God our relationship with God is by far the most important relationship we can have. This relationship is intimately united with the presence of our Lord in the Eucharist. It is through the Mass alone that we are able to receive our Lord in Holy Communion and thereby nourish our personal relationship with Him. My experience has been that in any human relationship the words we use and the actions we perform play a significant role in the success of that particular relationship. Since our salvation depends upon our relationship with God, we should take extreme care with the words and actions of the Sacred Liturgy."

- Rev. Jeffery A. Fasching

Utopia?

2010-04-29T13:23:00.003-04:00

Another wonderful post by Fr. Longenecker, here.

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I have been swamped with personal responsibilities as of late. Not to fear, because summer is fast approaching, which means more time to write. I do miss it very much. I hope you are all doing well. Until next time! :- )

Women Priests? Never.

2010-04-08T11:12:00.003-04:00

"... the fatherhood of God is not a culturally determined and anachronistic fossil from a patriarchal age that we have outgrown. Instead, it is a characteristic at the very heart of the essence of who God is. Arguments for the ordination of women may be conducted on sentimental, egalitarian, and utilitarian lines, but once they stray over the border into theology, they must come face to face with the innate patriarchy of the Judeo-Christian revelation. A patriarchal element is of the essence of historic Christianity and, no matter how unpopular, is indispensable."

Quoted from "In Praise of Patriarchy", an excellent article by Fr. Longenecker which can be read here. You can also visit his blog here if you'd like.

The Resurrection of the Lord

2010-04-04T22:30:00.002-04:00

"Lord Jesus, good and gentle Jesus, who deigned to die for our sins and to rise for our justification, I beg You, by Your glorious Resurrection, to bring me out of the sepulchre of my vices and sins, so that I may merit to have a real share in Your Resurrection. O most kind Lord, who ascended to Heaven in the triumph of Your glory and are seated at the right hand of the Father, You who are all-powerful, raise me up to You, so that I may run in the odour of Your ointments, run without slackening, while You call and guide me. My soul thirsts; draw me to the divine spring of eternal satiety; lift me out of the abyss toward this living spring, so that I may drink as much as I can of it, and live on it forever, O my God, my Life.

"I pray You, Lord, give my soul the wings of an eagle, that I may fly without weakening, fly, until I reach the splendour of Your glory. There, You will feed me on Your secrets at the table of the heavenly citizens, in the place of Your Pasch, near the celestial fount of eternal satiety. Let my heart rest in You, my heart which resembles a great ocean, agitated by tumultuous waves.

"When shall I see You, O precious, long-desired, amiable Lord? When shall I appear before Your face? When shall I be satiated with Your beauty? When will You take me out of this dark prison, that I may confess Your Name, without being confused any longer? What shall I do, a wretch loaded down with the chains of my human condition? What shall I do? As long as we are in the body, we are journeying toward the Lord. We have not here a lasting dwelling, but we seek a future city, for our homeland is in heaven.

"As long as I carry about with me these fragile members, give me the grace, O Lord, to cling to You, for he who adheres to the Lord is one spirit with Him" (St Augustine).

Culture Change in the Church

2010-03-27T05:33:00.003-04:00

Click here for an article worth your time.

Can I Just Say...

2010-03-19T14:57:00.004-04:00

... that I loved Old Navy before, but now I'm in love! Almost everything in their spring 2010 line is pretty, feminine and modest (or can be made so). It's almost too much for me to take. Now, if only I could buy everything... :)

Divine Love

2010-03-16T22:01:00.002-04:00

God delights in me... What more could I ever ask for?

"But be glad and rejoice for ever
in what I am creating;
for I am about to create Jerusalem as a joy,
and its people as a delight.
I will rejoice in Jerusalem,
and delight in my people..."

Isaiah 65:18-19

Spring is Breaking

2010-03-14T23:40:00.005-04:00

The ice is gone, spring break is over, I have less than two months until summer vacation, and I am feeling refreshed and ready to go, both mentally and spiritually. I'll try to get some posts up over the next week, but until then I just have a couple updates to my Library: Cruel Hoax by Henry Makow and The Marketing of Evil by David Kupelian. I highly recommend both of these.

Perseverance

2010-03-11T20:48:00.002-05:00

Truth comes even from unlikely sources...

"Sometimes you just feel tired, you feel weak. And when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you, gotta find that inner strength and just pull that **** out of you, and get that motivation to not give up, and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse."

- Eminem, "Till I Collapse"

Renewal

2010-03-09T20:32:00.004-05:00

Ezekiel 36:17-19 "Mortal, when the house of Israel lived on their own soil, they defiled it with their ways and their deeds; their conduct in my sight was like the uncleanness of a woman in her menstrual period. So I poured out my wrath upon them for the blood that they had shed upon the land, and for the idols with which they had defiled it. I scattered them among the nations, and they were dispersed through the countries; in accordance with their conduct and their deeds I judged them."

Ezekiel 36:24-31 "I will take you from the nations, and gather you from all the countries, and bring you into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water upon you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will remove from your body the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit within you, and make you follow my statutes and be careful to observe my ordinances. Then you shall live in the land that I gave to your ancestors; and you shall be my people, and I will be your God. I will save you from all your uncleannesses, and I will summon the grain and make it abundant and lay no famine upon you. I will make the fruit of the tree and the produce of the field abundant, so that you may never again suffer the disgrace of famine among the nations. Then you shall remember your evil ways, and your dealings that were not good; and you shall loathe yourselves for your iniquities and your abominable deeds."

Slow Fade

2010-02-13T21:25:00.007-05:00

While the video for this song deals specifically with human relationships, how often is this true of our relationship with God? I know I'm not the only one who sees herself in those words, more often than I care to admit.

Feminine Attire

2010-01-28T19:06:00.006-05:00

As women, we all know how much power we wield over men. Whether we use that power for good or for bad, we know that we have it. It’s been my experience that many women (even Christian women) have adopted our current culture’s mentality of, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it!” and “If he lusts after you, it’s his problem not yours!” Seriously? How selfish and immature have we allowed ourselves to become?

One of my recently-read books is Colleen Hammond’s Dressing with Dignity. Overall, I pretty much knew what she was going to write about (i.e. how women should guard their bodies, their innate feminine value, etc.), but there were some things in particular that stood out to me that I’d like to share here.

The first thing I found immensely interesting was her review of fashion history. I had a vague idea of some things, but I really never stopped to think about how drastic the changes of the last century have been. 100 years ago, we were 95% covered! I would recommend this book for that section alone.

Another thing that caught my eye (because, alright, it convicted me just a little bit) was a brief reference to how casually we treat our attire when going out for just a quick something or other. Guilty as charged. "Gas station run? PJ’s is okay." No, Brooke, it's not, lol.

Here are some quotes that I’d like to share.

“… just as it is wrong for a man to use his physical strength to lord it over a woman, so it is wrong for a woman to use the feminine characteristics of her physical body to dominate a man.”

“A woman who uses her feminine charms to get what she wants from a man isn’t showing any respect for the personal dignity of that man…”

“Using newly developed technology, they tracked the path that a man’s eyes take when looking at a woman in pants. They found that when a man looked at a woman in pants from the back, he looked directly at her bottom. When he looked at a woman wearing pants from the front, advertisers found that his eyes dropped directly to a woman’s most private and intimate area. Not her face! Not her chest!”

And some related quotes from Alice von Hildebrand’s The Privilege of Being a Woman:

“The fearful sexual decadence that we have witnessed in the course of the last forty years can be traced back, at least in part, to the fashion world’s systematic attempt to eradicate in girls that “holy bashfulness” which is the proper response that women should give to what is personal, intimate, and calls for veiling.”

“When women are pure, men will respect, nay, venerate them; they will also hear the call challenging them to chastity.”

“Perceiving women’s modesty, [men] would take their cue and, in return, approach the female sex with reverence, instead of with today’s brutal irreverence which unleashes lust and impurity.”

This only further convinces me of the need in my own life to dress in a distinctly feminine and modest way. I would recommend both of these books for any woman, especially those with daughters. The women of a culture decide where it will go, whether they realize it or not. I think our great misfortune as women today is that we do realize the power we have over men through our looks, but instead of using that to secure their chivalry and purity, we use it to indulge our own vanity. Shame on us.

The Beauty and Dignity of Womanhood

2010-01-23T13:55:00.011-05:00

My priorities have changed a great deal over the past year. Shortly after I quit my job, I began to feel a natural pull toward modesty and femininity, but I didn’t really understand it… now I do. Our natural inclinations are toward what God has designed his creatures to be: male and female, equal in dignity but unique in role, distinct and complementary. It’s quite beautiful, not to mention liberating, once you understand it. Yet society today has managed to suppress, even denigrate, traditional femininity and purity (not to mention masculinity) while promoting androgyny and promiscuity.

Initially, as I was drawn toward these thoughts of my own femininity and what it meant, I was very self-oriented. But now I’ve begun to feel the need to examine the situation more closely on a much wider scale, to discover where we were in the past and how we came to be where we are now, and lastly what our response should be today, to reclaim the divine design of our femininity and masculinity. I’ll just touch on the feminine for now.

Today, we seem to want to treat all of the symptoms without getting to the root of the problem. But in order to do that, you have to acknowledge what the problem is, and that would upset a whole lot of people… because from what I’ve learned so far, the two main culprits of our modern-day struggle with our sexuality as women are the demise of the traditional family and the radical changes in fashion over the last few centuries, along with the Christian moral basis for them. Since giving offense is very low on my list of worries, I don’t mind sharing a bit of what I’ve learned from my two most recent reads: Dr. Alice von Hildebrand’s The Privilege of Being a Woman and Colleen Hammond’s Dressing with Dignity. I’ll save Hammond for next time and write on von Hildebrand here.

A typical feminist assertion is that throughout history, women have been relegated to the margins of society because the men were the majority in the public arena and women’s domain was the home. The premise is that the public arena is more valuable than the home environment. Is that true? Society would not permit women to hold positions of esteem or authority, and they were treated as second-class human beings, the “weak” sex (in a very negative sense of the word). Is that true? Well, according to Dr. von Hildebrand it’s really a matter of perspective. She asserts that a biblical, supernatural perspective is necessary, and I agree.

Although brief, Privilege is a great starting point for understanding the special dignity given to women, how our sex figures uniquely in salvation history and why our sex is indeed privileged. For example, take the argument that women are second-class citizens. Who, out of all the human beings (excluding our Savior) that have ever lived, was the most perfect? Not Peter, not Paul… Mary, the Mother of God. A woman is the most perfect person ever created. Second-class, huh?

How about the argument that women have been labeled the “weak” sex? For a Christian, weakness is strength, because when we recognize our weakness, the glory of God is demonstrated through us. Women understand this very well because we are weaker than men in a number of ways. Not only can weakness be positive, it can also point to the preciousness of something:

“… far from being a negative characteristic, the weak… refers to objects or persons who have something particularly fine about them, and which, for this reason, are more easily wounded or destroyed.”

Indeed, this has been the Christian perspective on women. They are considered to be more precious than men and deserving of special attention and protection. Second-class, eh?

Because of sin, we begin to value things of the world more than things eternal. Things become more important than people; power and money become more important than morals. The world now values things more highly than people, so of course it will look down on women whose inclination is toward the personal. The human person and the home is far more important than any public activity could ever hope to be.

“One day, all human accomplishments will be reduced to a pile of ashes. But every single child to whom a woman has given birth will live forever, for he has been given an immortal soul made to God’s image and likeness.”

The renowned feminist Simone de Beauvoir asserted that “women produce nothing”. How utterly foolish.

Another thing I found particularly intriguing is von Hildebrand’s reference to sexuality in humans being very different from that of animals. I’ve always known that it is the male animal that is typically the most beautiful or attractive. In humans, it’s quite the opposite. Our sexuality is a unique gift with a meaning far deeper and more beautiful than that of mere animals. How striking that is when one stops to think about it. God demonstrates many truths to us through his creation, and this is yet another beautiful hidden truth for us to ponder.

The Catholic Church has been particularly singled out over time as discriminating against women… how utterly ridiculous. Mary is the Queen of Heaven, raised to the highest honor Christ could give a person. Not only has a woman been named the most perfect human being to have ever lived, but the Church encourages Catholics to pray the rosary every day, featuring most especially a prayer acknowledging not only a woman herself, but also the female womb. Given what I’ve touched on so far I think you can agree that this idea that the Catholic Church holds women in low esteem is just plain silly, an attitude stemming from either simple misunderstanding or blatant animosity.

So, women value the home and people over objects, ideas and power; they have a unique, innate fineness to them which demands respect, gentleness and chivalry; a woman is the most perfect creature to have ever and that will have ever existed; unlike men’s work, her work (her children) will live on eternally and has far greater value than anything else in the world; and every day we joyfully sing her praises. That is beauty and dignity for you.

I love von Hildebrand’s quote: “By living up to their calling, women will succeed in guaranteeing a proper recognition of the unique value of femininity and its crucial mission in the world.”

I wholeheartedly agree, and I hope to continue the discussion of living up to our feminine calling next time when I’ll discuss Dressing with Dignity.

Contentment

2010-01-14T08:55:00.007-05:00

It's not always easy (okay, it's hard work!) to remain content with what we have and not desire the unnecessary things of the world. This is something I personally struggle with on a regular basis. It's not as bad as it used to be, but there was a time when I could buy anything I wanted, go on a 3-day vacation anytime I wanted, neglect certain responsibilities of money and not even notice. But now, I must be much more careful, and it is easy to fall into enticing traps. For a homemaker on one income, it's especially important that we guard ourselves against envy and the natural tendency toward "keeping up with the Joneses". And as Christians, it's especially important that we fight against the tendency of our first parents in the garden, the tendency to desire what is forbidden, the only thing God desires we should not have.

Hop on over to Home Living and read Lydia's post Staying in the Garden, because I could not have said it better myself.

Love, God's Law and the Family

2010-01-09T18:01:00.014-05:00

“The law is an expression of the father’s wisdom. The law and all the commandments are an expression of the father’s love. And the law comes to us on the basis of fatherly authority. So the essence of sin, then, is not mere disobedience; it is the refusal of divine sonship. Likewise, righteousness, then, does not consist exclusively of an obediential approach to laws much like a servant would relate to a master. On the contrary, righteousness consists of trusting the lawgiver as a son trusts a father, that the father wants the best for his children, that the father wants to give nothing less than himself, his own life, his values, his property, his time, his all. Because within the family love is life-giving, and within God that life-giving love is infinite, it’s perfect and it’s eternal.” – Scott Hahn, Our Father’s Plan

When Jesus came, he explained this to us, saying:

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” - Matthew 5:17-20

In Jesus, we come to understand the depths of the Father’s love for us and the “why” behind the “do” and “do not’s” of His law. The law does not go away, but God, because of His love for us, helps to show us why the law stands.

Because we are part of God’s family, we are bound to the laws of God not simply because He is our creator and we are creatures, but because He is our Father and holds authority over us in love. To disobey the law of God is to reject divine sonship and to damn your own soul. The law is not the absence of love and love is not the absence of the law. Love is the reason for the law.

God is the model of our own earthly families. God in His essence is a family. In a family, it is not simply enough to say “I have not murdered my brother”. It is not enough to simply keep the law. We must understand the “spirit” of the law in order to keep it perfectly. “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48) That is why we must go beyond “I have not murdered my brother” or even “I have not hated my brother” all the way to “I love my brother”.

God's very essence is a family; that is why the family is the basic unit of society, of His creation. Because God’s very essence is a family and because He stands in authority over us as a father, that is why homosexual “marriage”, contraception, et al. are not and will never be acceptable. Not only are we bound, by virtue of His fatherly authority, to keep His law, but also to imitate the very essence of that divine familial love: life-giving love.

God Himself is a family, and our families are earthly images of the divine model. That is why if we are to cure the evils rampant in our society we must focus on building up and strengthening our families. And this is also why the divine family model we have been given is mocked, degraded, spat upon and crucified by the world: it is a figure of God Himself.

The Most Holy Name of Jesus

2010-01-03T20:49:00.003-05:00

First, I’d like to request your prayers for our priest. After the consecration at mass today he appeared to become so ill that he was not able to continue and was escorted out while another priest quickly finished the mass. I am not sure of his status and will probably not know anything further until next Sunday. He is a very good priest and our community depends a great deal on him, and I’m sure he would appreciate all your thoughts and prayers.

Today in the traditional calendar we honor the Most Holy Name of Jesus. It’s one of the memorials that is no longer honored prominently in the modern liturgical calendar, and I believe that is a great shame and detriment to our society.

In our modern time, the name “Jesus” is known by nearly everyone, even those who are not themselves Christians. Especially here in America I think we take it for granted. How often do we stop to think about what that name really means and who that name signifies?

Throughout all of scripture God’s name is very highly valued. The first instance of God’s revelation of Himself to His people was to give His Name to Moses, when he stated very simply, “I am who am”. Then, when God revealed Himself further through His Son, He gave us the name of Jesus. The Jews considered God’s name so holy that they would not even speak it out loud. And yet today, how often is that same holy name misused, trampled on and defamed, not only by heathens but even by those of us who dare to call ourselves Christians?

Scripture is rife with the teaching that God’s name is holy and to be honored and venerated; it’s not a veiled message, it’s a commandment! “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name”, the very words our Savior gives us to pray!

Even when I was not a Christian, hearing the Lord’s name used in vain was painful to my ears. And today, whenever I hear it, I physically and instinctively cringe. In all honesty, I can tolerate a good deal of sinful behavior from people I am around at one time or another because I know that we are all sinners and that those who do not know God as I do will not understand what they are doing, but that is one thing I cannot abide. It is too offensive, too painful.

By giving us the name of Jesus, God came down into our lives and showed us His very face, that face which Moses could not behold, for if he did it would mean his death! The name of Jesus should, indeed, be very precious to all of us.

Perhaps today you might take some time to consider that Name above all names and what it means, for you and for all mankind.

I will close with two excerpts from the Propers for today’s mass:

“At the Name of Jesus every knee should bend of those in heaven, on earth and under the earth, and every tongue should confess that the Lord Jesus Christ is in the glory of God the Father. O Lord, our Lord, how wonderful is Thy Name in the whole earth!”

“Save us, O Lord, our God, and gather us from among the nations: that we may give thanks to Thy Holy Name, and may glory in Thy praise. Thou, O Lord, art our Father and Redeemer. Thy Name is from eternity. Alleluia, alleluia. My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord, and let all flesh bless His Holy Name. Alleluia.”

Quick Update and New Year's Wishes

2009-12-31T17:11:00.006-05:00

Hello again, from this winter wonderland we call Pennsylvania! :-) I've been trying to do some freshening up on my computer and my blog in preparation for the new year. I've FINALLY organized the hundreds of photos I've accumulated over the fall into neat and tidy folders. And here on the blog I've edited the sidebar and added some new pages, so I just wanted to make you all aware of them.

I've added a "Favorites" section, which includes some recommended websites and organizations I support, a library (this one's a long time coming), my bloglist and my Amazon wishlist for friends and family in gift-giving season.

Well, now that I have my online life all straightened out it's off to do a little "real" work. ;-) I hope you all have a wonderful New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Whether you are going out or staying in, be safe and I hope the Year of Our Lord 2010 brings you all the joy He desires to give you.

Un Año Nuevo

2009-12-30T08:07:00.003-05:00

It’s that time again: un año nuevo (a new year). A time for new beginnings, new hopes and new dreams.

I’ve never been big on new year’s resolutions, because I know how difficult they can be to keep, and who needs something else to fail at? But, the older I get the more I realize there can be a value in dedicating or rededicating ourselves to noble ideals, even if we fail. The point is to recognize areas that could be improved and to try. As Christians we acknowledge this fact constantly. God knows my weaknesses and He sees every failure. Does he criticize and scold? No. He encourages and loves me, no matter what. He desires that we confess, repent and try again. He desires for us to soar, and He will help us if we will only try.

So this year I have decided that I will choose just a few broad goals for 2010. I will, of course, develop more specific plans for implementing them, but for here stating them is enough. Hopefully, at this time next year, I can look back and say, “I actually made some progress on those!” They are not too crazy, not unique, but they are my hopes nonetheless.

(1)I hope to learn to balance my differing responsibilities more effectively.

(2)I hope to manage debt more wisely than I have in the past.

(3)I hope to improve the overall level of my own health, which I tend to neglect all too often.

(4)I hope to deepen my personal relationship with Christ and to implement more Catholic traditions/activities in our family, so as to live more fully the liturgical year.

So, do you “do” new year’s resolutions? What are yours this year?

Holy Mother Church

2009-12-28T19:20:00.009-05:00

"For a Catholic the dogma and the moral code which is given by the infallible authority of the Church is simply the ladder on which we climb. They are the map for the journey; the signposts on the way. They are vitally important, but it is the pilgrimage to heaven which is most important, and the final goal in this life is to get to the point where we walk on this pilgrimage so formed and guided by the dogmas and moral code that we no longer rely on them. We have learned to run on the path of God's perfection with the perfect delight of love, doing all those things which were once burdensome with the simplicity of freedom and the beauty of holiness."
~ Fr. Dwight Longenecker ~
One of the more common objections to Catholicism is all those "rules". From fasting and abstinence, to birth control and abortion, we Catholics have a million of them to follow. And don't even mention those of us who consider ourselves "traditional" and follow the "old rules" which are even more strict!

So, are we legalists? Do we find perverse joy in demanding obedience to the "law"? Are the Pope and all the Bishops holding us in bondange when Christ came to break our chains?

Of course not, but one question remains valid nontheless: why? As Father Longenecker alludes to above, the Church is there to help us in our journey, to guide us as a mother guides her young child, showing him right from wrong, helping him discern which path is the most beneficial and least treacherous for him to take. And then, once he is fully grown, he can make the journey on his own, but only because of the steadfast love and guidance of his mother.

The journey of a Christian life is not easy. It is rife with snares and alternate roads leading to suffering and death. Where's the map to help me find my destination, to show me which route to take and where the rest stops are? Where is the travel guide to advise which attratctions are worth stopping for and which should be avoided? How about the cost in time and treasure, who'll tell me that?

Of course the Bible should be kept close at hand; God's Word speaks to us. But when I'm confused and don't understand its meaning, when it seems to contradict itself, who can help me? When the Bible is silent and the world says one thing, who can I turn to ask if it's okay? Who can be trusted because of her experience along the path, her divine guidance? Who has the Spirit of Wisdom and the time-tested truths which have proven so valuable to billions of people since the time of Christ's death? Holy Mother Church does.

Why does a mother enforce rules for her household? Why does she punish those who disobey? Why doesn't she just let her children run wild and do what ever "feels" good to them? Because she knows what is harmful and what is beneficial. Because she has experience, age and wisdom on her side. Because her vocation is to shelter and teach truth to her children and to teach it in a way they will understand.

Why do I have to abstain from meat on Fridays all year long? Because on a Friday Christ suffered for you. Show him you remember and appreciate it!

Why must I attend Mass every Sunday? Because God knows you need to receive his grace through the giving of his very flesh and blood to make it through another week!

Why must I wait until I'm married to have sex? Isn't it just about what I want? Because God says to wait, and we'll also explain why!

The Church stands as our Mother on earth to guide us into what is good for us and help us to understand what will ultimately aid or hinder us on the journey to eternal life with our Father.

We see in our world today the effects of single-parent households. The result is always something less than ideal, less than what could be and should be. At times, the results are disastrous. If we can see this truth, that in this earthly life we need both a father and a mother, why are some us of not willing to accept this as true in our spiritual life as well?

As brothers and sisters in Christ, we should walk hand in hand with each other, holding on tightly to both our Mother and our Father all the way home.

Gloria in Excelsis Deo!

2009-12-24T11:27:00.007-05:00

"And there were in the same country shepherds watching, and keeping the night watches over their flock. And behold an angel of the Lord stood by them, and the brightness of God shone round about them; and they feared with a great fear. And the angel said to them: Fear not; for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, that shall be to all the people: For, this day, is born to you a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord, in the city of David. And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find the infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly army, praising God, and saying: Glory to God in the highest; and on earth peace to men of good will."
~ Luke 2:8-14 ~

Veni, Veni Emmanuel

2009-12-21T21:45:00.002-05:00

"Our soul waits for the LORD, who is our help and our shield,
For in him our hearts rejoice; in his holy name we trust."
~ Psalm 33: 20-21 ~

Come, O come, Emmanuel,
and ransom captive Israel,
that morns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel!

O come, Thou Wisdom, from on high,
and order all things far and nigh;
to us the path of knowledge show,
and teach us in her ways to go.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel!

O come, o come, Thou Lord of might,
who to thy tribes on Sinai's height
in ancient times did give the law,
in cloud, and majesty, and awe.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel!

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse's stem,
form ev'ry foe deliver them
that trust Thy mighty power to save,
and give them vict'ry o'er the grave.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel!

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
and open wide our heav'nly home,
make safe the way that leads on high,
that we no more have cause to sigh.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel!

O come, Thou Dayspring from on high,
and cheer us by thy drawing nigh;
disperse the gloomy clouds of night
and death's dark shadow put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel!

O come, Desire of the nations, bind
in one the hearts of all mankind;
bid every strife and quarrel cease
and fill the world with heaven's peace.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel!

"I Thirst"

2009-12-08T00:21:00.006-05:00

"What shall I do with you, O Ephraim? What shall I do with you, O Judah? Your love is like a morning cloud, like the dew that goes away early. Therefore I have hewn them by the prophets, I have killed them by the words of my mouth, and my judgment goes forth as the light. For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings." - Hosea 6:4-6

"Jesus does not command great deeds. All he wants is self-surrender and gratitude... That is all Jesus asks from us: He needs nothing from us except our love. God, who declares he has no need to tell us he is hungry, does not hesitate to beg a drop of water from the woman of Samaria. He was thirsty!!! But when he said: "Give me a drink," the Creator of the universe was asking for the love of the poor thing he had created. He was thirsty for love! And now more than ever Jesus thirsts. From the worldly he meets with only ingratitude and indifference, and even among his disciples there are very few who surrender fully to the tenderness of his infinite love." - St. Therese of Lisieux

Time, oh Time, Wherefore art thou Time?

2009-12-04T22:08:00.004-05:00

Time for soul-searching, penetrating, beautiful literature? Time to stop and think about this life! Each moment, each blessing... I've been missing it sorely, and I forgot what I was missing.

Forgive my hormone laden sappiness for just a moment, but I'm feeling very thankful and touched. Reading does that to me. :) It's a good thing. I need to be kept on my toes and reminded how beautiful humanity can be when we choose to. It can be so easy to forget.

Advent is a time of waiting, expectation and prayer. I think I'll try to make the most of it this year. I know my Savior will come... But will I be ready? Will I choose to contribue to that beauty that can be or retract from it? No better time than now to begin.

Silent Monks Sing the Hallelujah Chorus

2009-11-25T16:50:00.003-05:00

Now THAT'S entertainment! ;)

Tornadoes In My Head & Being "Just" a Stay-at-Home Wife

2009-11-18T18:25:00.010-05:00

I know that I've said this before, but the last few months have felt like a blur to me. My head has been spinning, and only occasionally stops long enough for a moment of clarity, and then back around it goes. It's disconcerting to say the least. I feel like I'm constantly being pulled mentally in different directions and that I'm not doing anything very well these days. My grades are good, my home is decently cared for, my relationship with my husband is good, but I'm not investing as much time as I should be, mainly due to this tornado in my head. I just feel like a mess, even if on the outside things seem okay.

It's particularly disconcerting to me because I've always prided myself on being a great multi-tasker. I've always been the top performer at my jobs, and now that I have just school and home it's very, very confusing. Why do I feel this way?

School is not quite as simple as a job. It takes relatively the same amount of physical time... But I guess it's more time-consuming mentally, because it doesn't stop once I stop reading or writing or leave the classroom. It's draining me, I guess. I love school, but I'm not used to this.

It has me longing for a break. I have 4 more weeks of classes, and then 3 weeks off for Christmas. Not nearly as much time as I would like, but hopefully it will be enough to refocus and recenter me to push through the end of the spring semester, and then the glorious summer. I can't wait to be "just" a stay-at-home wife again!

Speaking of that, it's not a new topic for me, but I haven't posted on it often and certainly not for quite a while. So, I would like to share with you the text of a Q&A I recently came across. I relate to so much of what this young woman is going through. A link to it is below the text in case you are interested.

DEAR BOUNDLESS ANSWERS

I have a question about the merits of being a housewife. I say "housewife" as opposed to "stay at home mum" because that's what I'm really talking about. On Boundless, you have often raised the subject of how important/beneficial it is for women to be at home once they've had children, but I would like some advice on the possibility of being a "stay at home wife" prior to the arrival of babies. It seems to be an odd concept for most people I have talked with.

Just to give you a bit of background into my situation: I'm a 22-year-old female, I'm getting married in five months and I'm in my last semester of university, studying for a bachelor of engineering (which has been fully paid for by scholarships). I've never been career-minded, as such, and have always desired to be a wife and mother (although I'm quite academic and have worked hard throughout my school and university years). I'm at university despite this, because it seemed wise to gain some form of qualification, so that I could provide for myself if needed. In addition to this, when I started out my degree I had no marriage prospects, so it seemed like the right choice.

Now that I'm in a situation where I'm soon-to-be married, I'm a bit unsure about whether or not I should be launching into a career. To be honest, I'm not excited by the idea of a full-time career. Whenever I talk to people about it though, they seem to think it's an odd notion and can't understand what I would do with my time if I weren't working. My fiancé, on the other hand, is very supportive and would actually prefer it if I wasn't in full-time work. He is in full-time work, with a secure job, and although his salary isn't huge, it's large enough to support our simple lifestyles.

I'm confused about whether my motives behind being a housewife are pure and godly or selfish and lazy. I don't consider myself to be lazy. I guess I can envision myself tending to my home and garden, helping out with volunteer work at church, doing some sewing and other crafts, and maybe getting a part-time job. I'm worried that with a full-time career I would arrive home at the same time as my husband at the end of each day, tired and worn out, and that I would be lacking in energy to then tend to my home and cook meals (although if we were in that situation I'm sure my husband would help out).

Are these desires a bit too idealized and old-fashioned?

Do you have any thoughts on the situation? I feel very torn and unsure of the distinctions between what society expects, what I desire and what God desires. I truly want to make the right decision and to live a life that is pleasing to God.

Any advice you have would be appreciated.

REPLY

I love this question because I suspect most readers will do the same double take I did. It sounds positively archaic to graduate from college, get married, and gasp, stay at home before even having kids. But the more I've thought about your situation, the more I applaud it. Yes! You can be a stay at home wife at great benefit to you, your husband, your marriage and your future children.

You are in such an enviable situation it's hard to imagine it's even possible any more. And yet here you are: Your future husband is supportive of you having the kind of flexibility most women only dream of. Increasingly women in full-time work are reporting a desire to cut back their hours (and those who can, do) and work more like women, with time and flexibility for all the varied dimensions of themselves (wife, friend, daughter, chef, gardener, citizen, author, painter, seamstress — the list is endless).

It's always perplexed me that we women so often willingly take on both curses. Yes, we are to be industrious and fruitful, but not in the same way men are. It's not our ideal role to go out and be breadwinner AND homemaker. Proverbs 31 suggests strongly that the external ventures of the wise woman were in addition to (and not at the expense of) running her household well (and she was far from selfish or lazy). Titus 2 is clear about the primary responsibility of godly women:

Then they [the older women] can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (vv. 4-5)

Women who work full-time outside the home alongside their similarly employed husbands are certainly, undoubtedly busy when they're at home. It's just that what time they have there is limited and often stressful. I know because Steve and I both worked full time when we got married. And we were often too tired at the end of a day of work to, for example, make much of a meal for dinner. Many nights we just crashed for a post-work nap, only to wake up even later, eat a bowl of cereal, and go back to bed for the night. Our townhome was more like a hotel room than a bustling center of industry.

It wasn't always like that. There was a one-month period of time when Steve was working full time while I looked for a job. It was a sweet season of having time to pray, time to clean, time to walk and meet neighbors. I spent each afternoon preparing for his homecoming. I cooked gourmet meals. I ran errands during the day so we had evenings and weekends to be together and explore our new city. It felt idyllic. I had time to miss him during the day. I was eager to hear about his work when he got home.

Had that season lasted longer, I could have joined a women's Bible study, volunteered in the community, made rich friendships with older women, and more. But it was short-lived. It just felt so weird. I assumed going to work was the right thing to do. And we figured two incomes would be the only way we could pay our bills and have the lifestyle we wanted.

Reading your e-mail, I now wonder if I was wrong. At a minimum, I think I missed out on some opportunities by going to work full time when a job opened up. I certainly was in line with the cultural norm. But as Steve said to me today when we were talking about this column, our society has gone from women-working-outside-the-home being an option, to it being the expectation. And that's where I think we err.

You're right, it is an odd concept for most people these days. But it didn't used to be. When most of our grandmothers and their mothers and the generations of brides before them got married, they were just what you're considering being: Stay At Home Wives (SAHW). It's not that they didn't work — any woman who takes care of a husband and a home will tell you just how much sweat and toil that takes — it's just that they didn't work like a man. Meaning, they didn't work 40+ hours each week, in an office, for a paycheck.

They didn't add dollars to the household budget, but they added incalculable value. Think about the single bachelor who married back then and found himself empowered by a woman who was managing the home front while he went out to slay the dragons (or kill the deer Pa Ingalls style, or punch the time clock). It was a true division of labor and there were and are many benefits to organizing your marriage and homelife that way. (I was just reading Boundless contributor Megan Basham's book about all the benefits to both husband and wife when the wife makes her husband's career her priority, too).

I've heard many newly married couples, who both work 40+ hours each week, compare their relationship to that of roommates. And they don't speak of it with affection. That and they get used to double incomes. Both are potentially hazardous to their relationship, especially when everything changes with the arrival of the first baby.

Given your desire to be a mom, and your robust to-do list for the time when your husband is at the office, I think staying home is a wonderful idea. And if you're a good steward of that time, it has every possibility of being a God-honoring way of life. Who cares that it's old-fashioned? (New fashions aren't always what they're cracked up to be). Who cares what other people think? Your responsibility is to God and to your husband. And if he's supportive, that's what matters.

I say congratulations on your upcoming graduation, your upcoming marriage and your upcoming season of adventure.

May God richly bless you,

CANDICE WATTERS
Boundless

Need a Laugh?

2009-11-12T20:46:00.003-05:00

I have not laughed this hard in quite a while. I really needed it. :)

If you know me, you know I love cats. And if you know me, you know I loathe our present Commander in Chief. Well, let's poke some fun, shall we?

Broken

2009-10-28T18:00:00.010-04:00

"It's so easy to be wicked without knowing it, isn't it?"~Anne of Green Gables~
Sometimes I am amazed at myself. I really shouldn't be, but... It never ceases to amaze me how broken I really am. St. Paul's words ring loud and clear in my head. I know what I ought to do, but I don't do it. I do what I ought not to do, though I know it to be wrong. And all the while, I feel powerless.

And where is my heart? Why do I not feel what I know I should? There I am broken, too...

I am so very weak; this is proven time and time again. I tell myself I'll do better next time. Nope. I promise I'll make it a week at least. Nope. I promise, just for today. No.

Minute by minute, can I do that? Moment by moment? Perhaps. For this moment, I will fall down and pray.... No, the Spirit will pray for me, for I have not words.

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them - every day, begin the task anew."~Saint Francis de Sales~

The Beauty of Autumn

2009-10-23T17:29:00.018-04:00

My favorite season is proving to be quite beautiful this year. I hope it lasts another month at least... 'Tis the season for pumpkins and cuddling. :)

Here's a quick snapshot from our home, inside and out.

Christian Unpopularity

2009-10-08T05:31:00.004-04:00

"It is very popular these days to do the wrong thing, just because we can. Making the decision to do the right thing, to develop a conscience and a prayer life and a deep meaningful relationship with God, isn’t really on the list of popular trends. People who have never tried to do this cannot even begin to fathom the changes that they see in others who embark on this journey. Brainwashing is a convenient, already packaged, excuse they use when they see something that they don’t understand."

- my friend and sister in Christ, Cam

And the Truth Will Make You Free...

2009-09-27T15:16:00.006-04:00

Today was the first day in about a month that John and I have been down to Pittsburgh for a Sunday latin mass. We usually go every Sunday, but we’ve been too exhausted to drive, or some time constraint was pressing upon us, or (like last weekend) the President was in town and it would have been a pain in the rear. But we went this morning, and I cannot tell you how refreshing it was to me. There is simply nothing else in this culture that compares to it. I will never take it for granted again.

The Gospel reading today struck me because it reminded me of what I’ve been reading in Pope Benedict’s encyclical Caritas in Veritate (Charity in Truth) and of the reason I started blogging in the first place.

For me, truth is everything. I’ve not always been able to articulate that, but since I was a child I’ve always been drawn into the process of discovering the truth about any and everything. If I could only find the truth, things would make sense, and I could find a peace and purpose in life. We all have that innate desire for truth, even when it takes us all in different directions. The loving mother who wraps herself and her life around, in and through her relationships with her family is seeking truth. The missionary who treks around the world giving what he/she can to those with so little is seeking truth. And the intellectual, constantly pursuing knowledge for the sake of satisfying the insatiable intellect is seeking truth. And all those who seek truth will find it in Christ in their own way.

For me, truth is everything. It is the foundation upon which we build our lives and the port from which we launch ourselves into the world, bringing that truth to every place and person we encounter. Charity in truth, truth in charity. What more can we give to the world?

Here is part of today’s Gospel Reading (Matthew 22: 34-40):

At that time the Pharisees came to Jesus and one of them, a doctor of the Law, putting him to the test, asked him, “Master, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus said to him, “’Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind.’ This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like it, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”

We’ve all read or heard this passage (or a paraphrase of it) numerous times throughout our lives. It is the very foundation of the Gospel, and it stretches back to the beginning of time, the foundation of the world. But there was one aspect that I never considered before: the law as it relates to the Catholic Church today.

Catholics believe that the Magisterium, as the teaching office of the Catholic Church, has the authority to dictate “law”, by virtue of apostolic succession and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Christ said that he did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it. Yet I’m sure we’ve all at one point or another questioned ourselves, “Well then why do we not follow Old Testament law?” And even more relevant to our lives today we’ve asked (or had others challenge us, especially anti-Catholics or relativists with), “Why does the Church forbid this and that, or require this and that? Isn’t that legalism, and didn’t Christ do away with all that stuff requiring us to act? Isn’t Christ’s blood enough to save us without any action on our part?” (Lots of stuff going on there, but I want to concentrate on why the laws of the Church are.)

In the introduction to his encyclical, Pope Benedict states: “Charity is at the heart of the Church’s social doctrine. Every responsibility and every commitment spelled out by that doctrine is derived from charity, which, according to the teaching of Jesus, is the synthesis of the entire Law (cf. Mt 22:36-40)… Truth needs to be sought, found, and expressed within the ‘economy’ of charity, but charity in its turn needs to be understood, confirmed, and practiced in the light of truth… Only in truth does charity shine forth, only in truth can charity be authentically lived. Truth is the light that gives meaning and value to charity.” (I am extending this statement to include the whole of Church’s doctrine, not simply its social doctrine.)

Truth is required for charity to be true charity. If I “love” my fellow man, but do not express to him the truth of Christ, what good is it? If I love my friend who happens to fully embrace a homosexual lifestyle, and yet I just accept him as he is thinking that it is charitable, I deceive myself and do him a great disservice.

He continues (emphasis mine): “Fidelity to man requires fidelity to the truth, which alone is the guarantee of freedom (cf. Jn 8:32)… For this reason the Church searches for truth, proclaims it tirelessly, and recognizes it wherever it is manifested… the Church… receives it, assembles into a unity the fragments in which it is often found, and mediates it within the constantly changing life-patterns of the society of peoples and nations.” Wow, wow, wow!

Law (referring now to the RCC’s doctrine) is charity! It is also necessary because of truth. The law helps to reveal truth, just as Christ came to fulfill the law and bring the truth in himself, who is the ultimate perfection of charity and truth. The law is and always will be because of truth. It was true, is true and will forever be true.

This interesting timing of the reading at Mass coinciding with my beginning to read Charity in Truth further convinces me of the importance and necessity of a structured Church. One body, guided by the Holy Spirit, assembling and piecing together God’s truth revealed across the world over thousands of years so that we today can simply look in the Catechism and see, “This is what God says on x, y and z.” Seriously? I don’t have to try and discern which preacher is smarter, which version of the Bible actually has the correct meaning for that passage, or which church has more Holy Ghost? Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!

We all need to put on the armor of God and prepare for the great battle we face every day. Thank you Lord for the most powerful ammo of all: the truth.

Praise the Lord, we're on a mighty mission
All aboard, we're not a-goin' fishin'
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition
And we'll all stay free

“To defend the truth, to articulate it with humility and conviction, and to bear witness to it in life…” is an awesome form of true charity.

Dear Man...

2009-09-24T01:45:00.005-04:00

Found this online, and I will be adding it to my Basics section. It was written by Andrea (profile here) It's excellent...

Dear Man,

No offense intended kind sir, but I do not desire to be you. On the contrary, I am proud to be quite different. This current movement of modeling your clothing and your mannerisms has been pushed upon me by society for far too long. ‘Tis a pity that your foul mouth has infested mine, and that it has become acceptable for me to utter such filth in the presence of others. We have strayed from our feminine ways of modesty, reserved nature, and politeness, exchanging these for provocative attire, brashness, and ill manners. Often such motives are to appeal to your unbridled masculine desires, and in doing so I am losing my identity as a unique and respectable sex. I have been fooled into believing your wants should be mine as well. I have rejected such beautiful and intricate attire for fear of appearing weak or unattractive beside you. My fight for equality has become a fight for the right to imitate and please. In my struggle for equal dignity, confusion has occurred, making it a struggle for your ambitions and manly qualities, or often to appease them, and even you have forgotten who I am.

I have received what the so-called “feminists” of my sex have asked for: I open my own door, walk in behind you, pull up my own chair, and pay for my own meal. In our blindness for more power rather than equality, my innate qualities have been underappreciated. Delicacy does not imply a lack of strength, and displaying my emotions does not mean I lack the ability to be logical. In envying your qualities, I have forgotten to value my own such as my nurturing nature, sensitivity, and compassion. In lowering my standards, I have equally lowered yours. For this I apologize and promise to work to regain the respect and dignity those in the past have worked so hard for. I only ask that you help me in this fight by supporting my right to be equal in dignity and rights with a role distinct from your own. I now realize that just because I now have the right to act like you, does not mean I should. I desire, not to be treated like your fellowmen, but rather as your complement and counterpart, whose qualities although quite different, are just as valued.

Sincerely,

Woman

Random Updates

2009-09-22T23:55:00.005-04:00

I just wanted to post a quick update on how things are going lately.

I’m still plugging along through several books, but between that and school I have so many different things in my head that nothing stands out as a blogworthy topic. I just finished An Inconvenient Book by Glenn Beck, and my current reading list includes Orthodoxy by Chesterton, Culture of Corruption by Michelle Malkin, and The Rapture Trap by Paul Thigpen. I have another half-dozen on my list to start sometime soon (Utopia, The Communist Manifesto, Arguing with Idiots, Sacred Then and Sacred Now, etc.) and I don’t know how I’m going to do it! I just want to devour them all right now. :)

I just have random, miscellaneous updates:

I’ve lost 10 pounds, yay! :) Although I’ve been slacking lately, (first I hurt my ankle, and then I had some home/school issues that just took up so much time I couldn’t stick to my schedule), but I’ve kept the weight off for a few weeks and plan on starting back up on my exercising schedule next week. All in all I’m pleased with where I’m at right now, and my goal is to just continue to plug along, even when I hit a setback.

School: Macroeconomics: piece of cake (chocolate cake… yum)… Public Speaking: not too bad so far… Social Work: interesting and easy… Physical Science: grrr… I hate science and it hates me, so this is a lot more work than I want to do, but I’m doing better than I thought I would… and Art History: interesting, but just too much information!

All in all, with 4 weeks under my belt, I’m doing well. I think I’ll be able to maintain that 4.0 GPA I’ve had since coming back to school in ’05. I’m hoping to keep that up for future use in hedging my bets should I choose to continue on to grad school. My first year in college was less than stellar, so I’m trying to make sure I prove that I’m worth it despite my early laziness.

And it looks like my hard work is paying off, as I’ve been offered membership in Phi Theta Kappa, an international 2-year college honor society, open by invitation only. Yay me! :)

I’m so pleased that fall is here; it’s my favorite season. I wish I could just hold on to it for a little bit longer, but in PA winter comes all too soon. I plan on enjoying the crisp air and the leaves, and Halloween. I LOVE Halloween (minus all the bad stuff taken to extremes)! Our local amusement park does Phantom Fright Nights every year with a good amount of rides open and haunted houses, cemeteries, goblins and ghouls, etc. We haven’t been in a couple of years, so I’m really looking forward to October for that. My sister’s planning on coming down and we’ll all go together. Maybe I’ll be able to get some pics if I remember to bring my camera.

That’s about it for right now. Until next time…

New Layout...

2009-09-17T21:42:00.002-04:00

I'm still working out the kinks, so if something doesn't work for you, let me know so that I can fix it, k? Thanks!

A Word from Thomas Paine

2009-09-09T23:51:00.001-04:00

Do you have "Common Sense"?

2009-09-06T17:52:00.008-04:00

My husband and I were grocery shopping yesterday and happened to notice a bookcase displaying “Glenn Beck’s Common Sense: The Case against an Out-of-Control Government”. While I am a fan of his show, I have not been able to follow it much lately, and I was not aware of this book’s existence. I recalled the reference to Thomas Paine’s “Common Sense” of 1776, which I’d previously read, and since it was only $8, we figured, what the heck, we’ll give it a shot. Once I started reading, I could not put it down and ended up reading the entire thing aloud to my husband. We both agreed that it is an incredible piece of work, putting forth (as Beck quotes Thomas Paine for doing himself) “extraordinarily logical, straightforward, indisputable arguments”.

“If you believe that it’s time to put principles above parties, character above campaign promises, and Common Sense above all – then I ask you to read this book…”

I believe it to be a MUST-READ for every single American citizen, no matter your party affiliation, race, creed, sex or values. PLEASE read this book! It will tick you off, fire you up, and hopefully motivate you to follow its lead. I could not pass up the opportunity, nay, responsibility of sharing it with others. I will not walk straight through the book, but I will pull different parts that greatly inspired me together to form what I believe will be the most concise way of getting my points across. This post will excerpt heavily from the work itself, and will also contain my own thoughts on it and the subject matter (in italics). Also, any bolding will be my emphasis.

This will be long, so for anyone who takes the time and effort to read and listen, you have my gratitude. I do not doubt you will be glad that you did, even more so if you purchase and read the book for yourself. There is much more material that I can obviously not cover here, and I am only a simple woman, not a master of politics or words. Then again, as Beck states, “… it doesn’t take celebrity, stature, or wealth to make a difference – it only takes someone willing to say the things that need to be said.”

Let us begin with the introduction, as read by Beck himself:

If you’re like me, you absolutely can relate to what he is stating here. We are all concerned citizens to some degree. We’re just not sure what we can do. We can’t fix a problem without first admitting that we have one, nor can we remedy them without first knowing what they are. So, let’s start there.

I’ll first tackle the money issue, because it’s the simplest and most infuriating of all (at least to me).

“Our interest payment to service our $11,000,000,000,000 in debt now stands at about $26,000,000,000 ($26 billion). Per month… By 2019, annual interest payments on the national debt will balloon to a projected $806 billion! Why? Because, as you might know from your own credit cards, interest compounds quickly. Making only the minimum payments will result in the unpaid interest being added to our outstanding debt. It’s a cycle that’s almost impossible to pull out of and the damage to our country will almost certainly be irreversible.”

“Where will all of that money come from? Again, the politicians say “the rich!” or maybe “the greedy corporation!” – but if that’s our plan, then we are set up for dramatic failure. The total 2008 profits of Exxon Mobil… General Electric…Wal-Mart… and IBM… totaled $87.61 billion. If we taxed those profits at 100 percent we still wouldn’t even have one-third of the amount needed to pay the annual interest payment – let alone any of the principal!... If we took all personal income tax revenue from every American taxpayer for the next decade you would still NOT have enough money to pay off the national debt, even if you exclude interest.”

Politicians tell us lies, lies and more lies. They think we’re too stupid to see through them. And you know what? I have to admit that many people are. We don’t question the people we see on the news, the “experts” advising us that they know what they’re doing, not to worry, it will work out. Ummm… hello?

“The laws of common sense do not change according to scale. If it doesn’t work in your own checkbook, it won’t work in theirs. If it doesn’t work at your house, it won’t work at the White House.”

“This is modern-day slavery, but instead of being sold to work in the fields our children will be working hundred-hour weeks at their jobs to pay off the debts we’ve amassed. Common sense shouts that if this were happening in your home you’d have to stop spending immediately. So what is Washington doing? The exact opposite. They’re spending even more.”

Amen! You know it’s true and so do I. We have to wake up and realize that we are in some seriously deep doo-doo here. We owe most of this money to China, and we all know how moral and ethical they are. They make our politicians look like Bambi. Bottom line: we’re going to have to suffer, now or later, bad or worse, it’s INEVITABLE. We can’t keep doing this.

We’re committing national suicide. So why aren’t we screaming at the top our lungs? Because we’ve accepted the “debt is good” mindset ourselves:

“Our parents and grandparents relied on debt only to buy a home or a car or put someone through college, but we rely on it to live the lives we think we have earned.”

We have to stop living with this sense of entitlement. Just because we are Americans, it doesn’t mean anything if we’re not willing to do the work to keep up with our lifestyles:

“There are not shortcuts in achieving and living the American Dream. It takes hard work, relentless dedication to your core principles and values, and, above all, patience. Nothing comes easy; nothing happens fast. But that kind of sense is just not so common anymore.”

“Politicians have forgotten that the money that sits in the federal treasury represents sacred funds purchased through the labor, blood, and toil of millions of Americans who get up early, go to bed late, and miss countless weekends and nights with their families just to make an honest living.”

“Now that everything is beginning to crash down upon us, what do our politicians do? They promise us that the way out of our crisis is to spend trillions of more dollars in borrowed funds.”

So, whose fault is it that we find ourselves in such desperate circumstances? Ours, and ours alone. Our politicians from both parties, and us for keeping them where they are.

“For too long we have ignored, enabled, or embraced the flawed character of those we’ve selected to protect and defend our Constitution… We wanted a life of ease, a life of little consequence and high reward. To get it, we repeatedly empowered thieves, liars, and con men, simply because they promised us ease. Now, because we’ve trained them that repeated injury has no consequence, they’ve grown bold and fearless. When we do speak up, they ease our pain with pork, a steady stream of entitlements, and financial candy, and back to sleep we go.”

“The chains of economic slavery have been forged by both parties and many presidents, but they are about to snap shut around the necks of our children and grandchildren.”

“Both parties have betrayed our founding principles and we have lost sight of the fact that the only side that matters is the one in step with the principles of the Republic.”

“…our present economic crisis has laid bare just how badly the members of our political elite have squandered our wealth while failing to prepare us for rough times.”

There’s a section about Social Security and Medicare being Ponzi schemes akin to what Bernie Madoff did that I won’t get into except to quote the following:

“For anyone keeping track, our politicians have committed future generations to pay a combined $99.2 trillion just for our unfunded Social Security and Medicare obligations…your share of this $100 trillion will work out to around $330,000. A family of four will be saddled with $1.3 million…”

“The lecherous politicians who lied to us about funding Social Security and Medicare are the same ones who are now trumpeting “free” universal health care. And instead of pointing at their track record and laughing hysterically, we sit by and listen receptively, as though this time might somehow be different.”

“… any serious discussion about these programs will have to address three key things, none of which are appealing to anyone: tax hikes, reductions in benefits, and delayed retirement. Politicians don’t win reelection by talking about those things, so they do nothing…”

“It’s clear that neither the Democrats nor the Republicans… really care anymore. They know that when all the bills come due they will either be living a comfortable retirement with the proceeds from a fully vested government pension and access to excellent medical care through their own federal health-care plan, or they’ll be dead. That’s why they have no incentive to do the right thing, just the politically expedient one. And it’s also why we should seriously consider strict term limits on every politician… Maybe the more short-term we make their careers, the more they’ll begin to think about the long-term.”

“While the average American earns between $40,000 - $50,000 a year, your congressman stuffs $174,000 annually into his pockets – an amount greater than the salary earned by 95 percent of all American families… they also provide themselves with perks like subsidized gym memberships… all of that creates a bubble around our representatives…”

“Instituting term limits on all public servants is the only way to limit the damage that can be caused by those who lack the character needed to assume such a role. Ben Franklin insisted that service to your country not be a full-time job or career – and he was exactly right. Our public servants must be sent back into private life without the obscene perks they’re used to…you must seek out and support those candidates who strongly support serious term limits.”

There’s a section on the tax code: “It’s time we take away the ability of Congress to bribe or punish companies by using the tax code.”

“So why can’t we get the fortitude to just vote them all out and start fresh?”

“How is it possible that a Congress with an overall approval rating of 13 percent saw 95 percent of its incumbent representatives win reelection along with 88 percent of its incumbent senators?”

Fair enough questions, why don’t we vote the bastards out and get all new guys/gals in there? Two reasons: finances and gerrymandering. Do you have the money to get noticed? None of us do… And if politicians can pick and choose exactly which neighborhoods and demographics they want to be able to vote for them (using gerrymandering) it makes it very difficult to cut through that.

“Your voice is diluted when congressional districts are drawn to favor specific politicians or parties.”

“Our Founding Fathers didn’t want any politician’s job to ever be safe or secure; they wanted our representatives to fear the people.”

“The infighting and the purposeful division promoted by our political parties is a simple ploy to keep us from uniting. After all, a citizenry that fights among itself over petty differences is too busy to notice the real cause of its problems.”

“Where are the Americans who will stop talking about the president or the parties and instead start talking about right and wrong? Where are those who will stand up and say, “Common sense still lives at my house and it’s about time it is applied again in Washington!”?

Oh, Lord, how far we have fallen from those principles in 200 short years. But why? What’s the root cause, the bacteria that’s been infecting our government slowly over all this time? Progressivism:

“Progressivism… seek[s] to redefine, reshape, and rebuild America into a country where individual liberties and personal property mean nothing if they conflict with the plans and goals of the State… It’s infiltrated both political parties and the entire political class…”

“One of the hallmarks of Progressive thought is the concept of redistribution: the idea that your money and property are only yours if the State doesn’t determine that there is a higher or better use for it.”

“Progressives didn’t simply want to create a new party, they wanted to usher in a new form of government.”

“The Progressives view the Constitution as a living organism that evolves with time and changes depending on circumstances. Both the Progressives and the Founding Fathers view the Constitution as a set of handcuffs – but the difference is that our Founders believed that it was the power of the State that was to be cuffed, while Progressives believed it was individuals who were cuffed to the greater good of the group. One of those two positions will eventually win out and that will dictate how future generations live their lives.”

“Over the last century, Progressives have successfully moved our country toward more government control and less personal freedom – and they’re still pushing the envelope.”

“The presidential election of 2008… really only offered a Progressive Republican and a Progressive Democrat as candidates.”

Wow… all too true, I’m afraid, undeniably true. And very, very scary. So, how about some concrete examples of how they’ve accomplished (and continue to try and further) their agenda? Happy to oblige:

“…there are a few key issues that Progressives are using to drive their agenda forward: the environment, gun control, education, and religion.”

Now, I’ve never been anywhere near what you would call an environmentalist. I’ve always seen those types of people as wackos. (Sorry if I offend you, I’m just being honest.) But over the last couple years, it’s become so “fashionable” to “go green”. We’re all made to feel out of step if we’re not “in” with them, you know, those “cool” people. And the more you listen to commercials about doing this or that and how it will help the environment, it starts to sound alright. I mean, I love animals and all, and I want the planet to be around forever. But, then I have to stop and think, there’s got to be an agenda behind something like this. It’s too pervasive, too optimistic, too celebrity-driven (that’s always a bad sign).

“At first glance, climate change and “going green” don’t seem like issues that relate to the battle playing out for our country’s soul. But that’s because we often look at them in a vacuum. If you back away and see the forest instead of the individual trees, you quickly realize what is really going on: leaders who want more government control over our businesses, economy, and personal lives can’t simply snap their fingers and get it – they need a vehicle to take them there.”

Now it starts to make sense… And here’s the most ludicrous thing of all:

“In the 1970s, Progressives used “global cooling” as their call to action. That call included, naturally, increased government control. In the 1980s, as science refuted claims of global cooling, Progressives argued for more government power and control to fight “global warming” instead. Today, desperate to explain long periods of cooler temperatures, increased ice formations at the southern polar cap, and other inconvenient “global warming” truths, Progressives now tell us that government must have the power, resources, and money to fight “climate change” – whatever direction that change might be.”

Now, I’ve known that this history existed of cycling between cooling and warming, but everyone else seems to just accept the current status quo expert opinions as gospel. Give me a freakin’ break!! You people didn’t know what you were talking about then, and you don’t know what you’re talking about now. And the scariest part is not that there are these crazy people out there, but that they are beginning to take serious roles in our government and influencing our laws. They are going to FORCE US to do these supposedly “green” and “good” things that expose us to incredible amounts of risk. Do you realize how dangerous the mercury in CFL light bulbs is? And yet we’re going to be forced to have these in our homes! And they tout all this “green” garbage to our younger generations (including people my age) who don’t remember all their bull from decades past, so we just accept it like sheeple. AAAAARRRGH! I can’t get into that in detail now, but it is infuriating, at least to me, and to others I am very sure.

“Isn’t it amazing that the law does not require one human being to save another human being from injury or death?... Yet the same legal system requires you, under threat of penalty, to recycle, to avoid letting your car idle, and to put CFL bulbs with poisonous mercury into your homes – all to save the environment.”

“[These laws are] about sending you the message that you are no more important or significant than the spotted owl or a salt-marsh harvest mouse… These laws are a stark reminder that your significances as an individual, even as a human being, depends on the recognition you are granted by the State… But to do that, Progressives have to make you forget that your rights were endowed to you directly by your Creator.”

Then there’s the section on gun control that I will not get into here, but it’s chock full of truth… Next onto education, another touchy spot for me as it is. I will only quote one portion, because I’m sure if you are reading my blog you are most likely aware of the dangers of secular education. I’ll take that those issues are in your mind as a given:

“The Progressives recognize that family is the basic, most fundamental building block of society and they realize that by degrading the power of the parents, they are establishing, in the minds of children, the power and ‘compassion’ of the State. Examples of this can already be found. Your child doesn’t have to tell you when they are using school-distributed contraceptives, seeing a school nurse, or even scheduling an abortion. The parents are effectively left out of these life-changing and emotionally demanding decisions as the State happily steps in as their surrogate.”

And that makes me vilely sick… Next, religion. Bottom line, we have to stick together instead of fighting about whose religion is right:

“Religions and their followers must stop turning on each other… Progressives… want us at each other’s throats because a house divided cannot stand against them. They recognize that religion is a unifying force and a counterbalance to state power, so they believe that it must either be harnessed by the state or destroyed.”

Again, we see so much evidence of this it doesn’t need to be stated.

So, at the end of the day, what do we do? I will leave that answer where it should remain: in Beck’s book. I will close with more quotes as a call to action for all of us:

“In 1776, Common Sense woke up Americans to the fact that an oppressive English government was out of step with the Laws of Nature. Paine asked simple questions and encouraged his fellow citizens to look at America’s problems and its future with fresh eyes and a healthy dose of simple logic. I humbly suggest that our government is once again out of step with the Laws of Nature. The government by, of, and for the people has been turned on its head. It is now a government by the government, of the government, and for the government – the people be damned.”

“America has been slowly pulled off the course charted for us in Philadelphia more than two centuries ago. Through legitimate “emergencies” involving war, terror, and economic crises, politicians on both sides have gathered illegitimate new powers – playing on our fears and desire for security and economic stability – at the expense of our freedoms.”

“Millions of people who have played by the rules are forced to assist those who haven’t and it causes them to question the fairness of a system that lets people reap rewards for risky behavior and prevents them from facing any consequences or losses.”

“Are there enough citizens willing to do the hard work that self-rule requires, or have we become a people who would rather be cared for, fed, clothed, housed, and told what’s best for us by a parent-like state?”

“If you bury your head in the sand and believe that things will just get better on their own, that you will one day wake up and government will have decided to simply leave you alone – then you deserve to see your children wearing the chains of government servitude.”

“Is common sense completely dead in America today?”

Roman Catholic, Now and Forevermore

2009-09-04T10:47:00.000-04:00

I Love School, but the Kids Drive Me Crazy!

2009-08-31T20:58:00.005-04:00

So right now is not the best time to be writing a blog post. I have lots of homework, and still dinner to cook. But I need to get a little something out there.

I love school. I always have. But ever since I became a Christian, and especially since I became a Catholic, I cannot stand young adults! I mean, I'm only 26, but 95% of all the young people my age and under that I come in contact with (especially now that I'm in school again) drive me nuts!

Please don't get me wrong, I know that I'm a sinner just like everyone else, but I find (am finding) it really, really difficult to maintain my peace while being continuously exposed to some of these words, ideas and behaviors. Examples include constant cursing, taking the Lord's name in vain, constant sexual references, rude comments about other students and professors, rolling eyes at professors, immodest dress like never since I was 18, the juvenileness of discussions and words, relativism, pro-gay, anti-life, I-can't-possibly-be-wrong... on and on. *sigh*

Should I be a witness for Godly behavior and ideas? Of course, and I'm trying to do that as best I can. I know I can have a little impact given the right choice of timing and short, but powerful, words. But it's hard to be positive about being there surrounded by 95% of people who don't believe what you believe, live what you live, know what you know. I've never been good at it. It's very difficult.

So, I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Just a Quick Note...

2009-08-25T20:57:00.004-04:00

I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but the fall semester started up this week, so I will most likely be posting only sporadically. But I will still be here when I have some free time to share my heart. Thanks for hanging around. :)

Prayer for Today...

2009-08-21T21:17:00.003-04:00

O Most sweet Jesus, who came into this world to give to all souls the life of Your grace, and who, to preserve and increase it in them, willed to be the daily Remedy of their weakness and Food for each day, we humbly beseech You, by Your Heart so burning with love for us, to pour Your divine Spirit upon all souls in order that those who have the misfortune to be in the state of mortal sin may, returning to You, find the life of grace which they have lost.

Through this same Holy Spirit, may those who are already living by this divine life devoutly approach Your divine Table every day when it is possible, so that, receiving each day in Holy Communion the antidote of their daily venial sins and each day sustaining in themselves the life of Your grace and thus ever purifying themselves the more, they may finally come to a happy life with You. Amen.

Prayer Book of the Saints
Rev. Charles Dollen

Flashback: 1950s educational videos

2009-08-16T15:44:00.004-04:00

I've been perusing these type of videos the last few weeks, a little at a time. I always wondered why they don't make these anymore. I mean, sure, they're cheesy, but things might be different if they still did. Who knows?

This one's called "Homemaking Knowledge Contributes To The Enrichment of Life".

Wake Up, America

2009-08-13T08:39:00.003-04:00

In favor of national government-subsidized healthcare? Watch this, and change your mind.

Dreams...

2009-08-09T05:50:00.003-04:00

I know I'm not the only person who has crazy dreams, but sometimes it feels like it. Not too long ago I woke up from a dream where, for some reason (and don't ask me how or why!), Kathy Lee Gifford felt called to the religious life, then turned into God and I was immediately surrounded by heaven and felt this rush of joy, followed immediately by a sense of dread as I realized that my soul was not in a state of grace and I wasn't ready. That was scary... and I mean that sarcastically and quite seriously, scary.

Since it's waaaay too early for me to be awake I don't have much else to say about it right now, except that I'm glad I'll be heading to confession and Mass in a few hours.

The Consequences of Sin

2009-07-28T22:53:00.003-04:00

I don’t know about you, but I live daily with the consequences of my past sins. All of our sins damage us, and we can never fully repair that damage. It will be with us until we pass into eternity. Some damage is physical: liver problems from drug or alcohol use, scars from cutting. Some are emotional or psychological. No matter what type of damage, it’s devastating.

The devil works on me in different ways. Sometimes it’s guilt, or the memory of a bad time in the past that just pops into my head and hurts my heart, because that's not the person I am anymore. Sometimes it hits when I’m having a difficult time with something else, usually emotionally, and it tries to pull me down into despair. Sometimes I wonder if certain issues I have are the result of my past sins and I just don’t know it and never really will. Sometimes I wonder if things I’ve done have hurt me so much that they have forever scarred me, my body and my heart.

I try not to dwell on negatives, and I definitely don’t post about them that often. I try to find the positive, move forward, work on improving things. But right now, I’m feeling a little pain and questioning how much damage I’ve really done, and sorrow that if I have, there’s nothing I can do about it.

I know I’m talking in circles. God knows my heart and my thoughts. Only He knows what the future holds for me and what the consequences of my past really are. I should run to Him, run so fast and not look back. But it’s hard. I don’t want to face Him, even though I know He’ll forgive me. I don’t want to be the prodigal daughter yet again, but I am. I do the same things over and over and over again, and I know I will in the future, too. How can He forgive and forget? Will my weakness for an hour make me suffer for a lifetime? Will my scars forever ruin all God’s plans?

And the winners are...

2009-07-27T19:10:00.004-04:00

Everyone of course! I did not have as many responses as I expected so all of you who commented will receive a copy of Matthew Kelly's "Rediscovering Catholicism"!

In case anyone forgot, they are:
Karen
Maria
Colleen
Shawntele
munchesmom
mamajuliana
June

That leaves me with 5 copies, so if you ladies know of anyone else who may want one, I can send you an additional copy if you know them in "real" life, or have any blogging/online buddies email me also, and I will give them out first come, first serve.

All winners above and anyone else interested until the supply runs out, please email me at tendingtotruth@yahoo.com with your name and address. I will have them sent out to you as I receive your info.

Thanks!

Handmade Cards

2009-07-22T23:07:00.008-04:00

One of the first things I began doing once I came home was to attempt to make homemade cards for things like mother's day, birthdays, thank you's, etc. I haven't had a chance to make but a few, and I'm still not "design-savvy", but I think I'm progressing well. It's fun, creative, and people appreciate them, which makes it worth the effort.

John's been taking my baked goods into work for a couple months (we always have excess, as it's just the two of us). Apparently everyone says I should open a bakery. I poo-poo it; I don't consider myself better than anyone else who uses a recipe, but... My latest attempt was carrot cake muffins, and as a thank you, one of his coworkers sent him home with a cookbook for me! It was very thoughtful of her and completely unexpected. So, I made her a thank you card, my latest attempt. I thought I would share some pics (sorry they're not a better quality). And they're blank for privacy's sake:

Here's the front of the envelope...

back of the envelope...

front of the card...

inside the card...

And the back of the card.

If you've never tried it before, I would encourage you to. It's a great pasttime, and it makes others happy, too. Everyone wins.

Last Chance to Win Matthew Kelly's book "Rediscovering Catholicism"

2009-07-21T23:24:00.004-04:00

This wasn't originally a contest (as a don't have very many readers), but I might have more people than I have books who want it coming over here now, so...

I now have 12 copies of this book! I just received another shipment. So, I have asked a fellow blogger (who recently gave some away in a drawing herself) to send her readers over for another chance to "win"! If you would like to have a copy of this book, please leave a comment on this post by Monday July 27th (which is when I will be back from my weekend retreat). I will draw names on the July 28th. So, you can check back then and I will have you email me your address so I can mail them out to you. I'll do that the next day if I can. Good luck!

Is There Something in the Air?

2009-07-20T16:15:00.002-04:00

My maternal grandmother had a stroke this morning. I don't know much else except that it's probably serious, and we weren't close, but if you could spare a moment and pray for her, my grandfather and my mother I'd appreciate it. I've heard of several other people having serious medical complications over the last couple days. Is something going on?

Hey There, Obama aka Drink the Kool-Aid

2009-07-17T17:39:00.005-04:00

If you loathe Obama & his policies as much as I do, you'll enjoy this:

Temperaments

2009-07-16T18:59:00.007-04:00

I've been thinking about temperaments lately. I'm making an effort to improve myself in the area of relationships (especially with my husband), and one of the keys to that is understanding why I am the way I am. My temperament is melancholic-choleric (see description below... I've highlighted parts that are particularly me). I fit this to a tee! My husband and I both took the time to take an extensive test on the subject (on 4marks.com if you're interested), and his is exactly the opposite of mine: choleric-melancholic. Tell me God doesn't know what He's doing! ;)

Anyway, as shown below, I am (and always have been) very introverted, reflective, easily falling into self-absorption. I tend toward the abstract more than the relational. And if my spiritual life isn't on track, neither are my relationships.

The whole topic is fascinating to me. The results also provided relational guidelines. There were options for how to get along with my "type" from the standpoint of a friend, coworker, spouse or family. It said that, for example, my husband should let me know how much he appreciates my orderliness and to not get in the way of my routines. BRILLIANT!!

My original major in college was psychology, and I love learning about how we work and why we do what we do, but I haven't take much time lately on the subject. I hope to flesh it out more over the next few weeks and to continue to learn how to be a better wife and friend. Unfortunately, my temperament works against doing that, so I have to work extra hard at it.

We're off to a marriage retreat next weekend. We've heard very good things about it, and we're hoping we'll learn some new skills in communication. Seems like everyone's marriage needs better communication, right? It's always good to think outside the box and let others' ideas in.

"Brooke, being a melancholic, values space, silence, support, order, has high ideals in a relationship, and plenty of space for reflection and solitude. Melancholics love romance!

The melancholic-choleric is a leader with the potential to accomplish great works. However, where the choleric-melancholic is driven by the challenge and the opportunity, the melancholic-choleric is inspired more by the nobility of the task. The introverted nature of the melancholic, combined with the focused and unempathic nature of the choleric, can result in an individual who is highly motivated by noble ideals (even humanitarian ones), but who prefers to work alone, rather than with people. The melancholic side of both temperament mixtures results in the project being organized, ethical, and high-minded, while the choleric aspect is the driving and demanding force.

If you are melancholic-choleric, you are somewhat less pragmatic (or utilitarian) than a pure choleric, just as persevering and determined, and with a greater emphasis on the ideal. Likely to be motivated by the most noble and demanding of causes, you are capable of founding a humanitarian society, composing a symphony, founding a school, or discovering a cure. You are organized, perfectionist, introspective, driven, and moody (though less so than a pure melancholic). You will be less active than a choleric-melancholic and less extraverted, more internally focused.

But your weaknesses include a tendency to excessive self-criticism and criticism of others, being dismissive or overly judgmental, exhibiting a tendency to self-absorption, and possessing an untrustful and controlling nature. You tend to be inflexible, can bear grudges for a long time and may be prone to discouragement. A melancholic-choleric who is not attentive to his spiritual life, and does not keep his eye assiduously on the truly important things of life can become a cross to those around him, through his nit-picking, perfectionism, disdain, bitterness, resentfulness, spitefulness when crossed, and even haughtiness.

Relationship Do's:
Allow her space to be alone, and time for quiet
Build her up with many words of affirmation--even though she may not seem to want praise, nor is she likely to return the favor!
Encourage her to express her feelings and ideas
Appreciate her attention to detail! (But you can help her learn not to sweat the small stuff )
Initiate activities, because she probably won't. (Just because they don't initiate doesn t mean they don't care!)
Respect their principles, their routines, their schedules, and their possessions
Appreciate their attention to detail! Appreciate their organizational and analytical skills!
Take time to ponder with them the big questions: What is truth? Or go to the art museum and the theatre with them. Discuss your favorite books.

Relationship Don'ts
Don't assume her pessimism means she doesn t like you.
Don't take their critical comments personally! They have a tendency to look at all the potential flaws in a plan and to make constructive criticism.
Don't lie or cheat or otherwise offend her high standards of morality
Don't assume that her complaints or criticism means that she is not having a good time
Don't tell her that her concerns are silly.
Don't be a slob. Melancholics attend to detail and appreciate beauty and order."

Denial... and a Note on Headcovering

2009-07-14T21:12:00.004-04:00

"Then Jesus said to them, ‘You will all become deserters because of me this night; for it is written, “I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.” But after I am raised up, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.’ Peter said to him, ‘Though all become deserters because of you, I will never desert you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Truly I tell you, this very night, before the cock crows, you will deny me three times.’ Peter said to him, ‘Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.’ And so said all the disciples." - Matthew 26:31-35

Can you see yourself standing before Jesus, repeating Simon Peter's words? I know I've thought to myself a number of times that I would never do such a thing as deny my Lord and my God. But do I already do it? In my everyday life, do I deny Jesus? If I dress immodestly, isn't that denying Him? If I avoid the opportunities to evangelize because I am afraid of people's reactions, isn't that denying Him? If I am irritable, rude, disrespectful to my spouse, children or family, isn't that denying Him?

Lord, may we be aware of the simple, everyday ways in which we deny you, and may we always seek to remedy them and proclaim your name always.

On a different topic, I know that some people are aware that some months ago I began headcovering full-time. I have recently made the decision to stop headcovering (except while at Mass) for the time being, indefinitely. This is a decision that took some time and thought to come to, and no matter where I am on this issue in the future, I will always be grateful to God for the issues of my heart He has revealed to me through this process.

Matthew Kelly

2009-07-11T21:45:00.007-04:00

***UPDATE***

I now have 12 copies of this book! I just received another shipment. So, I have asked a fellow blogger (who recently gave some away in a drawing herself) to send her readers over for another chance to "win"! If you would like to have a copy of this book, please leave a comment on this post by Monday July 27th (which is when I will be back from my weekend retreat). I will draw names on the July 28th. So, you can check back then and I will have you email me your address so I can mail them out to you. I'll do that the next day if I can. Good luck!

Father Thomas King S.J., Georgetown Professor of Theology and author of Thomas Merton, Mystic at the Center of America said, "To hear Matthew Kelly is to forget Matthew Kelly and remember only one’s call to holiness."

I could not agree more with that statement. So far, I have heard him speak only once (although not in person), and I have read only one of his books ("Rediscovering Catholicism"), but I would highly recommend both, even to non-Catholics, even non-Christians. I have heard fellow Catholics deem him "Catholic lite", not in the sense of "Cafeteria Catholicism", but meaning that he's not a Chesterton. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. His reach far exceeds that of, say, a Father Corapi. But the draw will open the reader/listener to the possibility of Christianity and Catholicism.

I purchased my copy of "Rediscovering Catholicism" from a local media outlet. Along with my purchased copy, I was granted the gift of six complimentary copies as well, which I just received in the mail today. Each of these books also has a notecard inside detailing how you can receive an additional six complimentary copies for yourself. They only ask that you do not sell them. Donations to the Matthew Kelly Foundation are also accepted if you wish to give.

I am currently discerning if there are any people in my life right now who could particularly benefit from this book. I would like to see it continue on so that as many people as possible can read it. If you believe that you or someone you know could benefit from it, please email me (see sidebar) and I will be happy to mail you a copy, free of charge. If you are a Catholic, you will be revitalized in your faith. If you are a non-Catholic Christian, you will find encouragement and love. In either case, I hope you come away with a new view of what Catholicism is really about.

Of course, you can find more info on the book online (I believe the best description is at Barnes and Noble), but here's a small portion which I believe sums up the purpose of Matthew Kelly's overall ministry in writing and speaking:

"(Jesus') teachings are not complex or exclusive, but simple and applicable to everyone, everywhere, in every time in history, regardless of age, color, or state in life. Beyond life's complexities, there is simplicity. Beneath life's confusion, there is understanding. It is the Gospel, the Good News. Within it, through it, we find salvation. And I believe that part of that salvation is happiness - not the foolish, empty happiness that this modern age associates with getting what you want. It is a happiness deeper and higher than any happiness we could imagine or design for ourselves... Our desire for happiness is not going to go away. It is part of the human condition. This is the genius of God. Our yearning for happiness is the ultimate and eternal honing device, designed to draw us gently toward our eternal home. Our yearning for happiness is a yearning for union with our Creator. As Augustine pointed out so simply and eloquently, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, Lord." Wherever men and women yearn for happiness, Christ will be relevant. He alone is the fulfillment and satisfaction of this yearning, and so for every person in every place and time he remains, "the Way, the Truth, and the Life" (John 14:6).

"Books change our lives, because what we read today walks and talks with us tomorrow." - Matthew Kelly

This book will be with me for a long time. I'd like to share that with others as well.

The Wisdom of G.K. Chesterton

2009-07-08T13:12:00.002-04:00

A collection of my favorite quotes:

"The act of defending any of the cardinal virtues has today all the exhilaration of a vice." - A Defense of Humilities, The Defendant, 1901

"Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions." - ILN, 4/19/30

"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it." - A Short History of England, Ch.10

"The reformer is always right about what is wrong. He is generally wrong about what is right." - ILN 10-28-22

"Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to that arrogant oligarchy who merely happen to be walking around." - Orthodoxy, 1908

"Once abolish the God, and the government becomes the God." - Christendom in Dublin, 1933

"It is true that I am of an older fashion; much that I love has been destroyed or sent into exile." - The Judgement of Dr. Johnson, Act III

"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people." - ILN, 7/16/10

"The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried." - Chapter 5, What's Wrong With The World, 1910

"These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own." - ILN 8-11-28

"Men do not differ much about what things they will call evils; they differ enormously about what evils they will call excusable." - ILN, 10/23/09

"Civilization has run on ahead of the soul of man, and is producing faster than he can think and give thanks." - Daily News, 2/21/02

"What is called matriarchy is simply moral anarchy, in which the mother alone remains fixed because all the fathers are fugitive and irresponsible." - The Everlasting Man, CW II, p.186

Natural Family Planning

2009-07-05T23:13:00.003-04:00

I am not a theologian or a scholar. I am a lover of learning, and a perpetual student. There is one topic in particular with which I have struggled and continue to wrestle with in my mind: natural family planning. I am currently unable to reconcile the practice of NFP with trust in God and His lordship in my life. This topic can become heated on both sides, so let me first explain the basis for my thoughts. (Here, we are only discussing relations inside of a Christian marriage with normal reproductive circumstances, i.e., no medical issues.)

Conception is not random chance. It is a direct act of the Creator. Every child is a child of God and exists only because He wills it. He respects our free will, and we can choose to leave ourselves closed to the possibility of life; the way in which we do that does not matter. But just because we leave ourselves open to life does not mean that a new life will come into being.

As Christians we believe that all human beings are created. We don’t believe that there’s a pool of souls alive somewhere just waiting for human bodies. We believe that at the moment of conception, that’s when God creates the eternal body/soul unity of a new life. We understand from biology that an ovum can only survive for 24 hours, while sperm can survive up to 72 hours. This means that biologically there is only a specific 3 day period each month when conception is possible. Intercourse must be had during a corresponding 3 day period in order for a new life to come into existence. Given the perfect model of female reproduction, this means that out of a 28-day cycle, there are 25 infertile days. God designed this biology, and it is the tool he uses to bring forth life and through which we cooperate with him in life-giving.

Natural Family Planning is one of many methods of birth control. Its purpose is to avoid conception through knowledge and use of the 25 infertile days for intercourse while avoiding it entirely during the 3 fertile days. (Generally, more time is given than 3 days, but we’re talking concepts here.) It is touted as a natural and moral alternative to “artificial” contraception, e.g., birth control pills, condoms, diaphragms, coitus interruptus, etc. It’s supposed to foster knowledge, love and respect for our respective male and female God-given fertility, while all other methods demean it. It’s supposed to bring us closer together, while all other methods set us on a selfish path. It does not act unnaturally through drugs upon the human body. It’s taught as being the only licit method of birth control acceptable for Roman Catholics.

The Church teaches that the primary purpose of marriage is procreation. Marriage brings new life into being, fosters it and sends it on its way. Those who discern the vocation of marriage must understand this. Our actions must be oriented toward providing for the possibility of a family, however many, if any, children God will bless us with. My husband and I have been open to life for years. As of yet, we have no children. This still applies to us. (Of course, once a woman is past child-bearing years, the marriage orientation will change.)

Is it acceptable for a Christian? I don’t know. I don’t question the teaching authority of the Church, but…

What’s my issue? My issue is me deciding what I believe God says that He should be deciding. We have free will, but we are to choose what is right. Is choosing to deny the possibility of children right?

The Church states in the Cathechism: “Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality.” I agree with this. The problem comes in deciding what is just, what is serious, what is a grave reason to deny the marital act. When and how can a couple decide that they cannot provide for children that God would choose to give them? How do we reconcile the fact that God will only bring a child into existence if He wills with our choosing to close the door in His face when He has stated that in His word that He will always provide for our needs? This is my dilemma.

Everyone could find a “serious” reason to not have children at the moment. Some people will abuse it, of course. It’s true that only they and God will know if their circumstances really warranted their actions, but even if we leave that possibility off the table, when does it make sense to deny God the procreative part of ourselves? Someone may have been abused as a child and doubt that they could be a good parent. Someone may have a consistently variable income and doubt their financial ability. Someone may feel spread too thin by the children they already have and doubt that they could psychologically handle another little one. All understandable in human terms, but God gives us grace to burn through every obstacle, and even these “serious” situations can change quickly. Today I may have the best circumstances to warrant having children with no anticipation that they will change. Then, I could have a child or two and be stricken with horrible circumstances. Or I could presently have horrible circumstances, and a year or so from now, things could turn around tremendously. I find it very hard to say that a “serious” reason can be had in worldly terms, that we can decide for ourselves what we can/should do here. Our circumstances change so much, how are we to discern what “just” reasons there are for closing the door on God? Aren’t we just playing God, doing what Adam and Eve did so long ago?

Scripture says that God will not give us more than we can bear. If I trust God to always provide, nothing should stop me from allowing Him to work in my life however He sees fit, right? And doesn’t that include everything: time, money, fertility?

I don’t have this all figured out, but these are my thoughts as of now. I would love to hear from others who have something to say on it.

You Get Me

2009-07-03T22:07:00.001-04:00

It's been a long time since I listened to this... fond memories and refreshment most welcome.

Is Love a Fancy or a Feeling?

2009-07-02T01:30:00.002-04:00

This is probably going to sound really stupid, but… Did anyone ever teach you how to love? Is love this thing that we’re born with and it just happens, or is love a learned pattern of behavior which is accompanied by feelings of happiness? Is love a fancy or a feeling? Or a Ferris? ;- )

Women are supposedly instinctively loving, kind, generous, nurturing… Is that true, or is it just a cultural stereotype? Is it something that’s been projected on us for so long that we just accept it as true? And what happens if it’s not true? Is a woman less of a woman if love is difficult for her?

The older I get the more I come to understand that I know very little about love. Am I just a bad person? Have I been left in the dark because no one ever took the time to teach me love, what it is, how it works, how to show it and how to know it when I see it from others?

Love is work. Love is difficult. Love is selfless. Love is imperfect… my love, anyway.

I understand the sacrificial love of Christ, but… my instinct is not to do those things that love consists of, that it demands. I have to focus, work, try again, get frustrated, fail, get back up, fall down again… It’s demanding, of time, energy, heart.

Am I crazy? Is this difficult for anyone else? I know, too many questions. I’m just contemplating these things lately. I so do not have this thing called love figured out.

Thoughts on the Meaning of Sunday and Mass

2009-06-28T18:45:00.006-04:00

I'm right in the middle of Pope Benedict XVI's "A New Song for the Lord: Faith in Christ and Liturgy Today". My thoughts on this post are derived from the chapter on the meaning of Sunday for a Christian, and my own thoughts on it.

"... the Sunday crisis did not just start in our time. It already becomes apparent at the point when the inner necessity of Sunday is no longer felt: Instead of "without Sunday we cannot exist," Sunday obligation appears only as an imposed Church law, an external necessity. Then, like all duties coming from the outside, it is cropped more and more until only the requirement remains to have to attend a half-hour ritual that is becoming ever more remote. Asking when and why one can be excused from it ultimately becomes more important than asking why one should regularly celebrate it. Consequently, in the end it does not take much for one to stay away without any excuse at all."

"I'm tired." "Our priest's homilies are boring." "The lady who sings is just awful."

So what? Good grief, we're here to be with Jesus, not to be entertained! If you want to be entertained, find a "church" with flamethrowers and clown masses and dancers. But don't fool yourself.

That is such a sad statement of our time. I hardly understand at all how one can truly know and grasp what it is that we celebrate at Mass and not desire to be there. I can, however, understand how someone who does not know can see it as dispensable and undesirable. I used to be one of those people. I come to the conclusion then, that for one to not desire it, one must not understand what the Mass is and what it means to us.

Catholics believe that Christ is truly present under the species of bread and wine in every Catholic Church across the globe. Our God is here. How can we not desire to be with Him? He gives Himself to us completely. How can we refuse to accept Him? We are surrounded by all the angels and saints at the throne of Almighty God when we surround the altar. How can we refuse the invitation?! The Mass is heaven (quite literally) on Earth. How can we choose to turn our backs on it?

"Resurrection is the start of a present, a now that will never end... The Eucharist is the present, the now of the Risen One who continually gives himself in the signs of the sacrifice and is our life in this way."

The Eucharist is our life, because the Eucharist is Jesus. How do you come to this life? Only at Mass.

"I am of the opinion that all the getaways we witness may be directed at diversion, relaxation, encounter and liberation from the toils of everyday life, but that behind these totally legitimate desires there is still a deeper yearning: the longing to find a real home in brotherly communion and to experience a real contrast, that is, the longing for something "totally other" in the face of the glut caused by the immense scale of all we have made. The Sunday liturgy should be responding to this."

"It seems to me that the real, albeit misunderstood and for the most part unrecognized, driving force behind the restlessness of today's leisure-time activities, behind the escape from everyday life and the pursuit of something completely different is the yearning for that which the martyrs called dominicus, that is, the longing for an encounter which makes life arise in us; it is the pursuit of what Christians received and are receiving on Sunday."

This is precisely why I enjoy the Extraordinary Form of the Latin Rite so much. It is other-wordly, as Mass should be. It's not about “kumbaya” with your neighbor, although certainly that is a necessary component. It's not about the voice of any particular singular musician, although the choral music is heavenly. It's not even about the priest's homilies, although they are forceful, truthful and beautiful. It's about what happens on that altar every day; it's about who is on that altar every day, and how He comes to me, unworthy as I am, to fill me with His grace. That is definitely other-wordly.

So sure, Mass is important, but why the big fuss about Sunday? And what about the Saturday Jewish Sabbath? Isn't it just the same thing?

Jesus came into conflict with Jewish officials several times on account of the Sabbath. He explained it, basically, as their misunderstanding what the purpose of the Sabbath was. After the resurrection, it becomes obvious why Christians would begin to worship of the day of it, on Sunday. But it has acquired a feeling similar to that of the Sabbath, one of being ritualistic.

Pope Benedict describes briefly how the early Christians (once they were legally able to publicly celebrate the Lord's Day) dealt with the issue of the Sabbath and Sunday. Apparently, they celebrated both as days of rest and learning of the faith. Eventually, the two "sibling" days were combined on Sunday (or rather, the Sabbath became included in the Lord's Day), so that while retaining the Law and the Prophets, their fulfillment was/is given its proper place.

So we have the Sabbath, which respects creation, and also reflects Israel's liberation from slavery. And we have the Lord's Day, which is the fulfillment of all creation and represents our liberation from the slavery of sin. Papa Ratzinger calls it "an active exercise of our freedom." I love that! I don't rest because it's a rule; I rest because I am free in Christ to choose to do so! "On the Sabbath there are no masters and no servants; there is only the freedom of all the children of God and creation's release from anxiety..." and also "The Sabbath is the anticipation of the messianic hour, not only in thoughts and desires but in concrete action... We are getting used to God's way of life just as he got used to us during his life as a human." Beautiful!

I've also encountered in this chapter a thought which explains the problem I personally have with the Novus Ordo:

"Only when the sacrament retains its unconditional character and its absolute priority over all communal purposes and all spiritually edifying intentions does it build community and "edify" humans."

Most N.O. Masses I have been to look more like Protestant services than a holy sacrifice befitting the presence of our Lord in the Catholic Church. While I don't deny the licitness of the N.O. Mass, I do find that its practice has drifted further and further away from the intentions of Vatican II. So few people seem to understand why it is that we're there and what it is that we're doing and who it is that is present!

“A pastor is not an emcee, and the liturgy is not a variety show... It must become clear that a dimension of existence opens up here that we are all secretly seeking: the presence of that which cannot be made..."

Begotten, not made…

June, in Pictures and Video

2009-06-26T21:33:00.022-04:00

I love our home. We have so much here that we love and cherish, not the least of which is the nature right outside our door. (All pictures open larger.)

Lots of foliage:

A beautiful hillside:

Deer!

Woodpeckers:

Bunnies in the driveway:

And then inside...
Homemade Bread:

From scratch chocolate chip cookies:

Afternoon naps with Brandi:

Louis taking a break from reading, apparently:

Paying bills, with a child in tow (yes, she did that herself):

When she's not hiding under my skirt, she looks like this:

Gizmo, taking in the sun:

And Billie, talking as usual:

Can't forget time at the pistol range

(don't mess with me and my Taurus!):

The summer, so far, has been lovely. I have been truly blessed to be at home to enjoy and cherish it. I hope you will be able to do so as well.

Ba-Rock-E-Road, New from Baskin Robbins

2009-06-24T12:35:00.010-04:00

I've been meaning to get a new post up, but have been a little busy. Hopefully that will be done by tomorrow, but for now, enjoy this!

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: "Ba-Rock-E-Road"

Ba-Rock-E-Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate. But the vanilla portion is not openly advertised and is usually denied as an ingredient, since MOST of America prefers chocolate over vanilla.

WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD

It is surrounded by nuts, flakes, and a few fruits. They may be very bitter and hard to swallow depending on their age and what state they were "picked" from (Massachusetts and California have the most bitter tasting of all).

The cost is $100.00 per scoop. When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone.

But then the ice cream will be taken away and given to the person in line behind you. You will be left with an empty wallet, an empty cone, and no hope of getting any ice cream. Not to worry though: your children and grandchildren will pay for it later.

Are you stimulated?

These People Are Insane

2009-06-19T13:50:00.002-04:00

Save the flies! But not the unborn human babies. These people are unbelievable.

Complex, Yet Simple, Beauty

2009-06-17T18:14:00.011-04:00

I haven't touched on homemaking in a while, although I've been working diligently at it every day for the last few months. I don't know why I thought this, but when I really decided to make it a priority for myself I guess I thought it would be something that I would set up fairly quickly and then be done with it. Foolishness, I know. I'm amazed that everyday I find some new subject to research, some new recipe to try, a new need in my home that must be met. I swear, when I worked full-time these "things" around the house just didn't come up, but as soon as I quit, everything started to need to be done.

I'm on summer break from classes, and yet I feel so consumed with learning! I know I've intimated this before, but it bears repeating that I have absolutely zero background in homemaking. I didn't learn to do laundry until I was 18, and I only recently learned how to do it "properly". I didn't cook until a year ago, other than tv dinners and pasta. I didn't know that people still hung their clothes to dry, that bread could be made from scratch, or that (get this) corn could be bought on ears! Up until a few years ago I thought you could only get it in a can. Then, I was enlightened by my friends as to the glorious mystery of shucking corn.

I did lead quite a sheltered life. So now, many things are brand new to me. There are so many things (not simply the day-to-day basics of housekeeping, although that's quite important) that I was never taught growing up that I'm learning now and question, "Why, with a stay-at-home mother, did I never learn this?" I don't mean just how to cook and clean, but also what my purpose in life was. How would I discern the person I would build a life with? How could I learn to be a wife? I went out into the world on my 18th birthday, completely uneducated about life, except on my own and the world's terms. I do regret not having that education. I don't blame my parents, though. They have their own issues and reasons for what they did and did not do. I just know that, if I'm ever blessed with children, I want to be able to share everything I'm learning with them. I can't imagine not doing that. Maybe that's why I don't have children yet. Perhaps God is waiting for His perfect timing so that I can truly live what I desire to give them... But I digress.

I'm right at the end of J.R. Miller's "Home-making", and I absolutely LOVE it! I would recommend it to both men and women, and it can be viewed in its entirety online for free here. I know, I read too many books at once, but it's been recommended by so many blogging ladies that I just took a peek, and then I couldn't stop. I was anticipating another homekeeping book, but no: this is homemaking. What the husband's and wife's roles and responsibilities are in the marital and parental relationships, creating an atmosphere of love by behavior, discussion and living. Every sentence is another "WOW" moment. I know I probably sound dramatic, but I'm just taking this all in like a sponge. I can't get enough. It's like reading the Bible through Catholic eyes for the first time and going, "NOW that makes sense!"

We've all been told (and I'm sure we all know and believe) that it's not the house you live in but the lives that live in that house that makes a home. But how do we know, each of us, what our particular place in it is? Who teaches us what it is we are to do and how it is we are to do it? Of course we must be, first and foremost, close to Christ. Secondly, we must be kind, loving and generous to others. But beyond that? More specifically, day-to-day, how do I live out my role? What is my role?

All of us, male and female, share the same respective thoughts and feelings and dreams within us, and when we can put that into the proper perspective of what to do with them, we can live a more abundant life. Not just more abundant, but purposeful and deep and spiritually pleasing to our Father. The best example I can think of to illustrate what I mean is one that I've used before: that every woman I've known has a deep desire to be loved, desired, cherished and honored. That is exactly why God calls men to do just that for us. Men have a deep desire to be loved, desired, honored, respected, nurtured and needed. That is exactly why God calls women to do just that for them. And that is why the enemy takes those desires in particular and tries so hard to pull us into the perversions of love and desire. Because a woman has a desire to be loved by a man, she will do what she feels will bring that to her: she'll date all the wrong men, she'll become promiscuous, she'll dress immodestly to attract attention. A man will attempt to gain respect, honor and love and to be desired through the use of (as Voddie Baucham puts it) the three B's: the billfold, the ball field and the bedroom. But, in the end, these lead only heartbreak and disillusionment about love and life. We must be taught to live according to God's plan.

Once each person, man or woman, knows what role they are to play and what their responsibilities are, the marital union mirrors exactly what it is supposed to reflect, and our lives are beautifully rich. People from the outside look and see that that is what they want to have. They're drawn to it, much in the same way people are drawn to Christians for what we possess in Christ for which they also are made to possess.

From my own personal experience (and I don't have much yet), after simply moving in that direction in my own marriage (of attempting to live our roles more faithfully), the difference in our home and relationship is unbelievable. I don't divulge too many personal details about our relationship here, but suffice it to say that we're pretty close to what I would consider perfect in our discourses, whereas even just a year or so ago I would have avoided discussing them altogether for the way I felt about how we were relating to and treating each other (mostly because of the harvest of my own sowing). Now, with Christ remaining center and both of us molding ourselves into His design for us as husband and wife, I can see with new eyes how this vocation we've been called to is really supposed to work. And I'm loving what I see. So is my husband.

Making a home is much more than having a clean table and delicious food. It's a way of life, a tender word, a gentle touch. It's an atmosphere and relationships. It's becoming the best version of yourself and allowing/helping those closest to you to do the same. As with everything God creates, it's complex, but simple. It's beautiful.

Unusual Humor

2009-06-15T11:38:00.009-04:00

Being married has its share of humorous moments. We had one the other day, and then after reading a fellow blogger's post yesterday I was reminded of another happening from several months ago that I wanted to share.

First, the new one... We've never lived in a home where we were able to do any type of gardening before, but we have a townhouse now that backs up to a field and some woods with a deck and some planting areas already set up (you can't really see it in the picture above, but you can get an idea. And the cat is our only boy, Louis (loo-ee), in case you were wondering.) So we decided that this year we might test out some flowers and see how they do, see which ones we like, etc.

Last week John dug up all the ground around the back deck so that we could plant soon, and apparently he stored the weeds and dirt in some Wal-mart bags and then put those bags into a large garbage bag and then (unbeknownst to me) placed that bag in our shed on the deck. Well, yesterday, he did a little watering of our bushes with a new hose head that he bought and wanted to try out, so I watched. And then he decided that, since the next day would be garbage day, he wanted to drag the bag of dirt out of the shed and around front to the street. When he pulled out the bag (with much effort, as it weighed a hundred pounds or so) and told me what was in it and what he was going to do I said, "Honey, why don't you just dump the dirt in the woods over there instead of throwing it away?" To which he goes, "Uh, yeah, I was going to do that..." with this, oh-I'm-an-idiot look on his face. Sometimes, I swear that man has so many things running through his head he doesn't stop to actually think, lol.

The other thing I wanted to share was a problem we had a few months back. In case you weren't aware, we have cats. I LOVE cats! But besides cats I am not a great lover of non-domestic animals or being physically connected to nature. I'm deathly terrified of bees, snakes and spiders; I hate bugs; and I wouldn't go camping except in an RV even if you paid me. Anyway, we started getting a visit on our back deck once or twice a day from a big black cat that we'd never seen around the neighborhood before. We didn't think about it much until he started spraying our sliding door. Now, our cats are spayed and neutered, but we've had behavior issues with previous cats and had to get rid of them, and we were afraid that one of ours might start acting up on account of this visitor. So, we called our municipality, rented a cage, put some cat food in it and set it up on the deck. A few days go by and nothing happens. Then, one night, I'm on the couch when I hear "cla-clink", so I figure we got him! I open the blinds, turn on the outside light, look down and go, "Oh no!" It was a raccoon!

John wasn't due home from work for a couple hours and I had no idea what to do. I called him at work and he told me that I should let it out before it started screaming and the neighbors found out. I've already intimated my fear of nature, so that's like asking me to charm a snake. No way, no how am I going near that thing. But John convinced me that it had to be done, and soon. So, after 10 minutes on the phone of him helping me work up the nerve and figuring out how to do it I go outside. This thing was more scared of me than I was of him, but still! I used our broom to get up in the handles of the cage, because I didn't want to get bitten or scratched, and I tried to lift the cage that way. Stupid idea: round broom stick, square handles. So I ended up just dragging the cage with the broom over to the deck doors. I was able to get the cage open and he took off like a bat outta hell, and we've never seen him since. My husband still talks about the day his wife caught a raccoon and how he can't believe I let it out myself. Ugh! I'm just glad it's over.

We did catch the cat, too, a couple days later. I figured we would take him out about 10 miles or so and let him out, so that he wouldn't come back. But John decided that he wanted this thing gone forever, so he took it out about 50/60 miles into Ohio. I mean, I wanted the thing gone too, but gee whiz!

I thought of that raccoon story after reading about Ginny's little visitor. I just hope I never have to deal with one again.

On Our Modern Culture

2009-06-13T12:33:00.003-04:00

“You can never please them. You can never show enough skin, you know? You can never look good enough. So, I said, I’m not gonna do it anymore. I’m not gonna live like that anymore, and I’m never gonna feel that way... When I walked in people knew, this is a religious girl. She doesn’t dress for us; she dresses for God, you know? She covers her body. And, that’s the best feeling. It’s like you took away anyone’s right to look at you in a disrespectful way. Nobody can look at you like that, nobody can think you’re some piece of meat, you know?” - Nicole Queen, on deciding to begin dressing modestly and to wear a headcovering

How Did I Ever Miss That?

2009-06-12T08:11:00.005-04:00

I love the Bible. I mean, you could read this thing a million times and each time there will be something you just go, "Wow! How did I ever miss that?" to.

I like to read the daily readings before going to Mass so that I can meditate on them and prepare for the homily. Today, the first line of the first reading is what caught my attention:

"Brothers and sisters: We hold this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing power may be of God and not from us." - 2 Cor. 4:7

Of course I have read this verse many times, but until today it didn't penetrate. How many times do I ask myself why God can't strip away these two warring entities inside of me, tearing me between good and evil, my Jekyll and Hyde. Why can't my struggles and temptations be taken from me so that I can fully live as He wants me to? And there's the answer. If we were not enclosed within these broken bodies in this broken life, it would seem to be our glory which would shine, not God's. Simple, perfect, beautiful.

His wisdom never ceases to amaze me. I love you, Father!

Head and Heart

2009-06-06T10:39:00.004-04:00

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." – Pride and Prejudice

I don’t know about you, but my Christian walk has been like that. I can tell you the time when I first asked God to reveal himself to me and the time when I first told God that, if he was real and if Jesus was him, I wanted him in my life. But it’s not such an easy thing to recall how it all started, where the seed was planted sotospeak.

If I didn’t have God, if I’d never found Him (or rather if He’d never called me), where would I be right now? Who would I be right now? That’s a scary thought… I don’t want to know what my life would be like without Him.

I don’t know how people do it, how they can go through life without God, choosing to reject Him. I just can’t imagine it. Where is the purpose, the rhyme, the reason? What’s the point?

I’ve never been someone who has had an emotionally charged relationship with God; my mind is where the majority of my spirituality lies. I guess that makes me ultra-contemplative. *shrug* I know what’s true. I place my life in His hands and trust that His will is best. I act upon obeying Him. But a lot of the time I don’t feel like I’m feeling what I’m supposed to feel. Jesus tells us that to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul and strength is the first and greatest commandment. How do I know that I’m doing that?

I know that the definition of love has been twisted by our culture, and that’s why it’s so difficult to adjust to the true meaning. Love is accompanied by feelings of affection and tenderness, but that’s not what it is entirely. Whereas our culture would say that love produces action I would say that actions produce love. If we love someone, we should act in such a way which is for their good. If we love God, we obey His commands. If we obey His commands, we are loving Him. It just feels so foreign, you know?

Don’t get me wrong, I have many joyful moments in my faith and walk, and I can see the truth in those words. It just takes adjusting to. I guess it will take an entire lifetime of consistently reminding ourselves of what is really true about love.

Maybe it’s a woman thing. I’m sure most guys don’t worry so much about things like that. Or do you? I’d be interested to hear others’ views on the subject. Do you struggle with feeling a certain way in your faith? How do you handle it? What about your spouse, if you’re married?

I guess I am feeling contemplative today. Big surprise, huh? lol

Love is a many-splendored thing. Marriage on the other hand, well…

2009-06-02T21:58:00.005-04:00

I have been a married woman for nearly 7 years. You would think that over that period of time I would have acquired an extensive knowledge of what marriage is, how it works and why. The truth is that over the first 5 years of my marriage I didn’t have a clue what it meant to be a wife. I’ve only recently discovered what marriage is, how it is supposed to work and why. The last 6 months in particular have been immensely enlightening. Let me explain what I mean.

I was 19 years old when my husband and I were wed in a simple civil ceremony. There were only 4 other people in attendance, including the judge presiding. We wore khaki pants and sweaters, unexcitedly exchanged vows and rings and, poof!, we were man and wife.

I had no idea what I was doing. Now don’t get me wrong; I loved my husband, and I knew what marriage was legally. In our eyes, we were already living together, so why not just make it official? It would make everyone else happy and we had nothing against it. So that’s what we did.

Oh, but wait, did the fairy godmother of wifely wisdom show up and sprinkle me with her magic dust, providing me with everything I needed to know in order to make my marriage wonderful? Sadly, no, although I heard plenty about what a marriage should be from numerous other sources. But what I was missing was the key ingredient which I believe is the only thing that can make a marriage work, and that is the knowledge of marriage as covenant, sacrament and means of sanctification, and the tools to live it out as such. [Thankfully, 5 years later when we were “remarried” in the Catholic Church I knew exactly what I was doing ;- ) And we got to do it up, the tux, the dress, et al... There's a pic on my intro page if you're interested. -->]

If I gave you a credit card (and you had no idea what this little plastic thing was) and all I told you was that you could buy things with it, you know what the end result of that scenario would be. However, if I also told you that the purpose of a credit card is to choose to borrow money from someone else in order to buy something that you don’t have the money for right now and that I would also charge you in order to borrow that money for whatever period of time, that quite changes things, doesn’t it? Marriage is the same way. Until you understand what the design and purpose of marriage is, you can’t “use” it/care for it properly.

Most girls I’ve known have been taught that love and marriage is the end-all, be-all of their happiness. Once you find the right guy, you get married and then everything will be wonderful. Oh, sure, you’ll have your ups and downs, but you’ll compromise and everything will turn out fine. The problem is, that just doesn’t work, because once we get to marriage with all of these expectations it simply fails to live up to them. We separate, we divorce, we become disillusioned. But the problem is not marriage. The problem is that we are ignorant of what we are getting into.

Most people nowadays (in my opinion) view marriage much like a contract. I give you something, you give me something and we’re both happy. But marriage is not a contract, it’s a covenant. In a contract, you see that someone else has something you want and you have something that they want. It’s a self-seeking agreement. But in covenant, you are choosing to give something of yourself to someone else and requiring nothing in return. The Bible is full of covenants that God makes “with” someone, but the covenants speak only of God giving of himself to that person.

So if a person goes into marriage with the mindset of a contract, as soon as they stop feeling “fulfilled” or “appreciated” or “insert feeling here” they want out. They miss the point entirely! Love is not selfish, love is selfless. As Mother Teresa said, you must give love until it hurts and then give some more (obvious paraphrase). Love is a covenant. Marriage is a covenant relationship.

Secondly, marriage is a sacrament. The man and the woman are entering into Holy Matrimony. Read that again: HOLY MATRIMONY. (Oh, how I wish people would call things what they really are! It would solve so many problems.) It is holy because they confer a sacrament upon each other and enter into a covenant with God through their vows. Covenants are permanent, unbreakable. "I, Brooke, take you John, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." You affirm to God before the presiding minister/priest and every other witness present to love and honor each other for the rest of your life. Today, this seems to mean nothing to people at all.

Lastly, I would like to call to mind that marriage (far from what the culture teaches) is not the end-all, be-all result of love. It is a vocation to which we are called, similar to the call to the priesthood or religious life. The purpose of a vocation is to serve the Lord through it and, ultimately, to obtain grace, grow in holiness and enter into eternal joy. Simply put, husbands and wives are to help each other get to heaven. What an awesome responsibility!

Men and women each have unique and complementary roles to play as husbands and wives. If we choose to live out our roles as God calls us to, we will bring peace and joy into our homes. Should we choose to rebel against these roles, the ultimate result can only be heartache. I could write another post on this subject, but suffice it to say for now that men must lead and women must submit, men must provide and women must nurture.

As Christians, we most of all should be setting an example for our culture. We have the tools necessary to turn this sinful world on its proverbial head if we would just LIVE our faith! I believe the reason Christianity has the same (approximate) divorce rate as the general population is because we have lost sight of marriage as a covenant, as sacrament and as vocation. We have failed to teach our children who have (in this generation) been unable to teach their own children something they themselves were never taught. So many people fall into believing the lies the culture teaches about what love is and about what marriage is. If they could only see what they really are, they would be saved from so much heartache. I know, because I’ve experienced it myself. For years, even as a married woman, I did not understand it. Praise the Lord that now I do. Marriage is still a challenge. Just as in our walk with the Lord, we must daily die to ourselves. But that’s what we sign up for from the beginning: a selfless giving of ourselves for the sanctification of the other person. Marriage is the foundation of the family. If we can get this right, everything else will become much simpler.

Now that we know what we’re working with, let’s roll up our sleeves and shake things up a bit! If we can just begin with ourselves and our own children, soon the world’s notion of what love and marriage are can be set right again. Let’s live our roles as husbands and wives with such passion that the world sees that we have something they don’t, but want to have. I pray that God will grant us wisdom and grace to live up to that challenge.

Lazy Sunday

2009-05-31T19:41:00.006-04:00

I have some thoughts and ideas running through my mind that I'm hoping to share over the next few days, but I will keep my post today brief because I would like to get back to my lazy, day-before-my-birthday Sunday evening of doing absolutely nothing. :) But before I run off I'd like to share a humorous quote from my husband.

You know how they say (and it's true)that kids say the darndest things? Well, I think you could substitute husband for kids anytime! Today we went to the shooting range to try out our (relatively) new pistol. I haven't shot a gun in about 8 years, and I did quite well. But I needed some instruction on the weapon and aiming after all that time. We started out at close range, then moved back to about 15 feet. While John was explaining to me how to shoot from that further distance he said, "You wouldn't be shooting to kill from this distance anyway, unless you were trying to save the Eucharist."

I'll have to ponder that one for a while...

True Beauty

2009-05-30T07:55:00.003-04:00

"Right there in the supermarket, though, I wanted to turn her face from the image, grab hold of her shoulders, and say, "That's right. It's not real. And don't you ever forget what is real -- the kind of beauty you cultivate in your heart, mind, and soul when you love and serve God by loving and serving others. Don't forget that your immortal soul is the most beautiful thing you can imagine. And always remember that God gave you great gifts, only some of which you can see on the outside, and none of which requires surgery for perfecting." - Danielle Bean, The Real Miss USA Scandal

An Intriguing Article...

2009-05-29T10:53:00.003-04:00

I found this article through the Ladies Against Feminism website. Here is a small excerpt:

Far from enhancing the lives of modern women, in many respects the feminist movement has diminished women’s happiness and satisfaction.

“The increased opportunity to succeed in many dimensions may have led to an increased likelihood of believing that one’s life is not measuring up,” Stevenson and Wolfers write.

“Similarly, women may now compare their lives to a broader group, including men, and find their lives more likely to come up short in this assessment. Or women may simply find the complexity and increased pressure in their modern lives to have come at the cost of happiness.”

In Between

2009-05-28T00:30:00.003-04:00

I haven't had much to say lately. I'm reading a new book, so hopefully I will have some material to post and reflect some thoughts on soon. The author is a bit heavy to read, so I have to take my time. Can you guess who? ;)

So for now, enjoy this short video (I think it's cute.)

Christian Prayer and the Trinity

2009-05-22T10:12:00.002-04:00

I just found this video on Catholic Fire. His description of the Trinity and Christian prayer is very helpful.

"I don't want sunbursts or marble halls. I just want you."

2009-05-20T15:40:00.008-04:00

I love Anne of Green Gables; I'd simply forgotten how much. The story, the music, the acting, the scenery... everything. It's like reuniting with an old friend.

Yet another funny moment...

2009-05-15T11:30:00.004-04:00

This one was my goof... We recently made the decision to abide by meatless Fridays all year long and not just during Lent. So this morning I picked up a mini snickers bar, put it to my lips, stopped (because I was second-guessing what I was eating) and said my thoughts out loud: "Oh wait, there's no meat in this."

Doh!

Funny Moment...

2009-05-12T10:16:00.005-04:00

When I went downstairs this morning after getting ready for Mass I saw sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, a whisk, mixing bowl and pie pan sitting on my kitchen counter.

Hmm... Guess someone was in the mood for brownies. lol

Seeing God

2009-05-09T11:19:00.007-04:00

Sorry my last couple posts have been depressing... I am feeling much better now and I am more than happy to move on to more productive discussions!

This morning's gospel reading was John 14:7-14. Our pastor's sermon was helpful to me, so I thought I would share.

I've always had some difficulty (as I'm sure all of us have) with the Trinity. Not that I don't believe it or that I don't understand it, but that I can't really comprehend it. How can God be 3 in 1? In this passage, Jesus says that if you have seen him, you've seen the Father. Again, difficult to comprehend. But our pastor put it in a new light for me.

I've often wished that I could go back in time and really see Jesus, in the flesh with my own two eyes. I've always thought how wonderful that would be, to be able to see Him, talk with Him, touch Him, and really know who He is. But it occurred to me this morning during father's homily that if I had been there, I would have seen just a man. Scripture says that there was nothing in particular about Jesus' appearance to make us notice Him. It is only when in relationship with Him that we see who He truly is. When we hear Him, we know that He has the words of eternal life. When the apostles looked at Jesus they were seeing the Father, and yet they didn't even seem to know it! Jesus had to remind them to open their eyes and their hearts. This put that wish in perspective for me in that having that face-to-face encounter with Jesus would likely have given me the same troubles that I face today, not seeing Him in the flesh.

Father also compared it to the Eucharist, another issue that (while I completely accept its truth) I still have difficulty comprehending. I don't fully see unless I open my eyes and my heart.

Jesus is not always who we expect Him to be. Certainly the 1st century Jews who wanted a king and not a lamb didn't get what they expected, but they did get God, wholly, truly and substantially. And so do we, in the Liturgy, the Sacraments and especially in the Eucharist.

Another good point was made in that the people could see the Father through the works of the Son. I believe the same is true of Christians today. If you claim Christ as Savior and Lord of your life and yet you do not manifest holiness, where is the Lord in you? Our works show our faith in the same way that Jesus' works show the Father and His love for us. Faith without works and without fruit is absolutely dead and useless. We are all called to be saints, to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, to love and to bear fruit in God's vineyard and also to pull out the weeds when necessary. Our entire lives will be spent in pursuing holiness, and that pursuit will lead us down many roads. Some we will follow through to the end, others we will have to take a shortcut off that path and onto another. Each person's road to salvation is different, but the end result is the same.

May we all recognize the Lord in our everyday lives and manifest His presence to others so that when they see us and what we do, they see Him. Peace and blessings to you in your own unique walk!

Still Feeling Melancholy

2009-05-07T14:10:00.001-04:00

Do you know what it's like to be black-balled because of your last name because of immoral relatives who lie, cheat, steal and do whatever they want with no concern for others, even though you yourself are an upstanding citizen and a daily Mass-going Christian who strives to live the Gospel all day, every day?

I do.

Heartache

2009-05-06T22:29:00.002-04:00

I don't have much to say today really, except that I am heartbroken and sickened over the things happening to and within my country. I am afraid that the America I want to leave for my children is no longer a possibility.

I know God is in control, but that doesn't stop my gut from wrenching every time I turn on the television. Between the advertisements, unbelievable news stories and the propaganda... The only reason we have a television is so we can watch EWTN. But I digress...

Sorry for rambling, I just need to vent a little bit.

Jesus, please heal this broken world, for the sake of your children.

The New Rebellion

2009-05-04T23:42:00.006-04:00

During the mid 1900s, women across the country began rebelling against the roles society had defined for them in centuries past. No longer did they wish to be "oppressed" by men. No longer did they wish to be seen as merely dolls in pretty boxes. They wanted their opinions to matter, their ideas to count and the freedom to pursue careers other than wife and mother. Numerous demonstrations were held, bras and mantillas were burned in effigy. No fault divorce became the law of the land. Mothers began leaving others to care for their children while they went off in search of meaning and purpose in their work, while shunning the home and family work which had so long been theirs alone.

Were they right? Were they oppressed and undervalued? Were they made to feel as though they were merely the property of men?

I didn't live their lives, nor do I pretend to understand what it feels like to literally have no options in choosing a station in life. But I do know that after the rebellion, the family began to disintegrate.

In God's infinite wisdom he created us man and woman. We each have very definite and different yet equal roles in the divine order. Nowhere in the Bible can you find a command for man to stay home and take care of the children, nor can you find a command for women to go forth and work for their families. Our roles as men and women have been defined for us by our Creator, whose wisdom far exceeds anything we can comprehend. Whenever we obey Him we prosper, but when we rebel we suffer the consequences.

As husbands and wives we are each called to fulfill our roles in the divine order. I must submit to my husband in order for him to lead, and he must lead in order for me to submit. Whenever one of us falls off track, the relationship is strained and the tension is evident. I believe the first female rebellion came about as the result of men and women sharing equal guilt for not fulfilling these roles. As men abused their power as leaders women were oppressed. As women failed to submit, men were undermined, creating a vicious cycle which, to this day, still causes grief and pain evident by the high divorce rate and lack of satisfaction people find in modern marriage.

So what can we do if we wish to reclaim marriage and family life and restore society to stable ground? We must begin at home by fulfilling our own roles in our own families. Many women have discovered this and are welcoming the call to return to the home.

As goes the home, so goes the nation. If our children are being raised by strangers with different standards everywhere they turn, no fathers, no certainty, how can we expect our nation to survive?

This past Sunday our priest made a wonderful statement regarding the dimissal at the Latin Mass. The phrase is "Ite missa est", meaning "Go, it is sent". He remarked that these few words are packed with meaning. It refers to the congregation. In order to go out into the world and live our lives as Christians and proclaim the Gospel, we must first come in and be fed and nurtured. We need this continually in order to thrive and even to survive. Our family lives are no different. We must care for, nurture, teach and admonish our children continually for years if we expect them to be able to go out into the world as responsible adults.

The women of the past did not recognize the great power and responsiblity given to them by God. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. If you don't rock it, someone else will, and the devil only needs a toehold to wreak havoc in our world.

The women of the past cried out against the boxes society wanted to put them in, and yet today, those of us who cry out against the new boxes society wants to put us in are decried as zealots, accused of turning back against all that our foremothers fought for. Because we recognize the great potential and need for homemakers in the true sense of the word we are accused of "wasting" our lives. I've never heard such a ridiculous statement in all my life.

I believe every woman should have the right to set her own course in life. I believe that every woman should be praised for following her own path, even if that means harkening back to what our grandmothers and great-grandmothers did. The home has been decimated and only when women reclaim their role in the home and take seriously the task of creating, nurturing and building up their families will the trend be reversed. Only when our men are willing to step up and be men will we see peace and joy return.

I love that line in Mona Lisa Smile: “So the choice is yours, ladies; you can conform to what other people expect, or you can..." "I know, be ourselves."

There is a new rebellion building in our society. May God grant us strength to follow Him and His will, no matter the cost.

Why I Choose to Be Different

2009-04-29T20:36:00.003-04:00

I just couldn't resist posting this quote from a woman I just love! If you've never heard her conversion story, it's well worth your time:

“I think the world has gone so far from God that any sign of radical conversion, radical transformation, radical sign to God at any cost willing to live a life no matter the risk, no matter the cost, to show that God is real, He’s true and He’s here (and we can never do too much for Him), I think that people love that because God has put it in their hearts.” – Rosalind Moss, former Jew turned Protestant turned Catholic

Eternal Guidance in a Changing World

2009-04-28T19:26:00.003-04:00

Thought-provoking quotes for your consideration...

“There are standards of human society, which change every century, decade, year, season or week. And there are God’s standards – everlasting, truthful, faithful. So which should we follow? The choice is ours.”

"We should not seek to be either conservative or liberal, but to be orthodox."

“Many think I've lost my marbles, so to speak, but I don't care, because I know I put my fate in God's hands and let Him guide me through the wishes, desires, doubts, fears, sorrows and joys that overflow my heart – today and every day, until my last breath.”

“Don’t be afraid to make a counter-cultural statement. Sometimes we follow an example, and sometimes we must be the ones who set an example. Of course this shouldn’t be done in an arrogant, holier-than-thou way (“look at me! I’m so righteous!”). We should do what’s right, but we must humble ourselves and do it in a peaceful and pleasant manner (“Her ways are of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace”).”

Where are you?

2009-04-27T14:26:00.006-04:00

Our automatic reaction when we're wounded by another is to immediately lash out and attack back in order to protect ourselves. But Jesus commands us to turn the other cheek. How do we grab hold of ourselves in that moment, a split second after the pain has been inflicted in order to refrain from lashing out and causing harm ourselves? How do we see that other person, in that moment, as Jesus sees them? How do we, in that moment, act as Jesus would act? How do we love that person, the very one who pains us, as Jesus does? Why don't I feel you here right now, telling me what to do? Where are you?

Blasphemy

2009-04-26T10:45:00.002-04:00

I don't care what your political beliefs are. This is repulsive. Obama should come out and openly condemn it.

'The Truth' by Painter Michael D'Antuono shows Obama stretched out like Jesus on a cross with a crown of thorns on his head. It's pathetic.